In my experience it was more like 2nd panel, then 1st, then 2nd again.
First the realization that I’ve gone through a full puberty opposite to my gender, and all the wild grief that comes with that. Feeling like I wanted to shed my body. Hating myself for being so skeptical of trans stuff despite being, in retrospect, such a blatantly trans person. Hating myself for not thinking about it more when my friends asked me multiple times if I was trans and explained to me why they were asking. Hoping someone would kill me so maybe one day I could be reborn into a body that didn’t feel alienating to look at and listen to.
Followed by acceptance, and being excited to express myself in the ways that I’ve never allowed myself to before.
Followed by the realization that my family and a significant portion of the country I live in has demonstrated to me that they will judge me and treat me worse the moment I come out of the closet. It’s hard to hold onto that feeling of acceptance.
End me. /rant
You realise you’re trans: 🙂
While the world is a particularly transphobic hellhole: ☹️I am really happy with it despite the rampant transphobia. Irl people arent nearly as transphobic as the internet would have you believe imo. Still lost many friends, but its worth smiling in the mirror every night and having motivation.
I know the majority of regular people aren’t transphobic - at worst most of them are genuinely just ignorant - but for example here on TERF Island I’m kinda worried that attempts will be made to legislate trans people away and criminalise our existence
I mean they cant legeslate us away. That is basically impossible. If you had to you could actually castrate yourself and make your own estrogen by breeding rabbits or something. This is actually a way that people in the ancient world transitioned. Obviously not ideal but there are tons of cis women who have to take estrogen. Probably one of the most perscribed medications. i can also transition without hormones. I have been transitioned for years really before i even started hormones. Trump wont be in power forever. The republicans are dying out even if they are making one final push and have tons of propganda. Lying to people only works temporarily. People wise up. They resent liars. Most people are decent even if they dont understand many things. They know in their hearts that they should be good to people. Republicanism is dying for other reasons outside of their control. There are no republicans anymore. They killed class, they killed land ownsership with their greed. There is no reason really for anyone to be a republican anymore. Everyone is poor, even the upper middle class.
As I said, I’m on TERF Island - Britain - so Trump isn’t especially relevant. I’m staring down the barrel of 4 more years of increasingly transphobic Labour policy followed by a likely Reform government that could go for who knows how long, which is a long time to exist under a lot of transphobia and general bigotry. Currently the EHRC is trying to publish rules that already aim to force trans people out of public life and if that then gets backed up by government policy who knows where it could end? Especially since Reform are explicitly talking about removing us from the European Convention on Human Rights and Labour are talking about “looking into” it.
Even in a utopian society I would absolutely hate this condition.
No utopia or vacuum can protect from the void that is gender dysphoria.
A utopian society won’t make me not want to scratch my eyes out whenever I see a mirror, want to chop off male fat distribution with a machete or rip out my vocal chords when I hear myself speak…
Unironically the worst thing to happen to me in life was this trans brain of mine…
It lead to so much unnecessary bullshit, most notably severe gender dysphoria, which caused strong depression and anxiety which in turn caused me to drop out of school multiple times and to struggle even during an apprenticeship… I also was unable to enjoy life since puberty…
I hate people who claim being trans is a choice with a passion as well as those who claim it’s a wonderful thing, all sunshine and rainbows or a “wonderful journey to discover themselves” 🤮🤮🤮
It’s a condition I would not wish upon my worst enemy, much less myself
dysphoria is the absolute worst.
I’m so close to being suicidal most of the time, purely from dysphoria. well, probably dysmorphia too. I got two scoops of body issues!
and it feels so alienating. I live with a younger trans woman who’s supermodel hot, passes perfectly and has zero dysphoria, and thinks I can solve it through self-acceptance because that worked for her. the only space I know of where people vent about dysphoria is /tttt/, which is such a dangerously toxic cesspool of brainworms and bullying that it’s not worth it.
bleufghjgghhjzzsghbb
I feel you so much OMG
I’m kinda at this stage RN:
And yeah /tttt/ is a dark place I used to lurk as a form of emotional SH a few times but luckily just uninstalled the client and never looked back.
Dysphoria really destroyed my life and me and makes it exceptionally hard to keep on going at all.when when when
what is /tttt/? 4chan board?
It’s a nickname for /lgbt/ because it has a lot of trans content
severe fender dysphoria
seriously, gretsch forever
Gregtech?
? WDYM
The F key is really close to the G one OK 😭😭
they’re both guitars
I don’t get it
Beeeg is making a joke about the gender/fender typo, playing off the fact that Fender is a company that makes guitars, as is Gretsch. So “Fender dysphoria” might mean that you were assigned Fender at birth, but actually identify as Gretsch.
We’re reclaiming the one joke ✊
Ah that is a good one LOL, I was unaware of both companies
Yeah 😕
On the flipside, we are who we are; what we are is immovable from anyone but ourselves.
The realisation itself is also liberation.
;(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
That do be how it is. Thank god for supportive friends!
