In my experience it was more like 2nd panel, then 1st, then 2nd again.
First the realization that I’ve gone through a full puberty opposite to my gender, and all the wild grief that comes with that. Feeling like I wanted to shed my body. Hating myself for being so skeptical of trans stuff despite being, in retrospect, such a blatantly trans person. Hating myself for not thinking about it more when my friends asked me multiple times if I was trans and explained to me why they were asking. Hoping someone would kill me so maybe one day I could be reborn into a body that didn’t feel alienating to look at and listen to.
Followed by acceptance, and being excited to express myself in the ways that I’ve never allowed myself to before.
Followed by the realization that my family and a significant portion of the country I live in has demonstrated to me that they will judge me and treat me worse the moment I come out of the closet. It’s hard to hold onto that feeling of acceptance.
In my experience it was more like 2nd panel, then 1st, then 2nd again.
First the realization that I’ve gone through a full puberty opposite to my gender, and all the wild grief that comes with that. Feeling like I wanted to shed my body. Hating myself for being so skeptical of trans stuff despite being, in retrospect, such a blatantly trans person. Hating myself for not thinking about it more when my friends asked me multiple times if I was trans and explained to me why they were asking. Hoping someone would kill me so maybe one day I could be reborn into a body that didn’t feel alienating to look at and listen to.
Followed by acceptance, and being excited to express myself in the ways that I’ve never allowed myself to before.
Followed by the realization that my family and a significant portion of the country I live in has demonstrated to me that they will judge me and treat me worse the moment I come out of the closet. It’s hard to hold onto that feeling of acceptance.
End me. /rant