DUDE JUICE. nobody wants to be drinking gay juice that isn’t for dudes, right fellas? wink wink.
god grifting would be so easy if I had capital to start up the grift WITH. The failsons and daughters of our society are hardly even trying
This is just “Booty Sweat” from Tropic Thunder
Or the GamerSupps “what if you could drink a hentai” marketing
GamerSupps
90% of the search leading to
with posts like “I really need to stop hoarding”
what if you could drink a hentai
Too salty
GamerSupps has the electrolytes plants crave!
GamerSupps
holy shit that is one of the funniest websites I’ve ever looked up. “let’s put body pillow art on our tumblers” we really do live in a parody reality.
If you are what you eat, then fruit juice makes you a fruit. Does that sound manly? No! So slurp down some MAN JUICE to be a man.
powerthirst but unironically
it’s got what DUDES CRAVE
POWERTHIRST is one my favorite things the internet has created.
Isn’t DUDE JUICE basically what sports drinks already are?
Hell yeah Brother! We’ve got the most potent beve-RAGE! With all the explosive antioxidant power of GUNPOWDER tea with BEAT juice to make your soldier “stand to attention” 
!you should have a marketing job under capitalism or a propaganda job for the revolution bc that’s gold
edit: shit it’s like you channeled alex jones there honestly (or what I think he’d talk like)
Haha thanks, I guess it’s the shared contempt for his target market coming through
I’m pretty sure this already exists with protein shakes.
Every grift I think of has already been done and done even worse than I could even imagine
Nothing stopped me from bottling the water in the stream next to my house and selling it out of a trunk to thirsty people, RAW WATER
I thought so too until I saw a can of “Liquid Death”
Just make sure it comes out grey-brown grimdark juice.
oh my god you’re a genius, we just bottle tea and call it dude juice
You could probably get the bad batches from some other factory extra cheap, being bitter and foul makes it more DUDELY.
if it doesn’t taste bad, it isn’t good for you- dude juice. get juiced like a dude!
Call it gun flavored
It’s got that DEATH DRIVE flavor your MAN GUT craves!
call it FRUIT BLOOD
another marketing genius shit, god damn y’all. we’re brainstorming here.
and think, hexbear could own the IP and all the profits go towards a big communism button!
Oh fuck, add like 20mg of caffeine for the FRUIT BLOOD: ENERGIZED offshoot that’s going to kill some kid because they’re going to have 5 cans of it mixed with Everclear
5 servings of 20 mg of caffeine isn’t actually that much tbh
I meant 200mg like the Panera lemonade that kills people but it’s too late to go back and edit it. Also they had 390mg of caffeine in a jumbo serve
Unlimited refills is what was getting people
MAN JUICE! MADE FOR MEN, BY MEN, USING ONLY THE MANLIEST OF INGREDIENTS!
What man wouldn’t wanna buy that!
As someone who works at a new-age-hippie restaurant, dude bros absolutely drink juice. They probably think it cures autism, low testosterone, etc.
you can cure autism by taking tylenol the reverse way (boofing)
um juice is just kinda good tbh, like fruits are gods gift to our mouths and tummies and juice is drinkable fruit
uh just saying
That’s just Gatorade
gatorade annoys me because oral rehydration therapy is useful for hydrating but it has too much sugar relative to its salt content
Yeah because it’s bro juice.
juice made out of animal blood
disgusting, absolutely. I’d hire you for the grift project
But there’s a flaw in your plan, drinking juice itself is gay. That’s why God made Red Bull and white Monsters.
by calling it dude juice you make it not gay though, just like dude wipes
sorry wiping ur butthole is still gay 💅
are you saying real dudes bidet
why dont you have shit smeared all over your ass?..probably butt sex
There’s a drink here called “the man shake” so you legit might make a lot of money doing this
fuckkkkkkkk, my originality
And the offshoot called “The Lady Shake”. My friend’s colleague, a divorced 50 year old man, swears by the weight loss properties of whatever the fuck that is. He has apparently had 0 noticeable gain or loss to body weight according to the rest of the company.
Diet* drinks v Zero Sugar* drinks
