Two for me:
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The moment you feel tipsy it’s time to ease down. You have a stomach full of booze that’s going to make you more drunk even if you stop immediately.
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If you think people are good, you’re probably right and if you think people are bad, you’re probably right.
People are good IMO.
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the grass is greener where you water it
I like this one a lot.
Maya Angelou: ‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.’
When someone gives you a compliment, just accept it.
“Slow is smooth and smooth is fast”
This has helped me learn nearly every physical skill I know.
“If they are willing to cheat with you, they are willing to cheat on you.”
Paraphrasing from Terrence McKenna.
“The one thing that seems constant through all the years is that… nothing lasts. Nothing lasts. Which is good news for some but will bum out others. Your happiness is slowly turning into something else, while your sadness will also become something else.”
You choose which emotions to empower and which to discourage. I think Buddha said it?
Basically, you really can choose to focus on the good parts of life/an event and you don’t have to let the negatives consume you.
Never hold onto anything so tightly that you can’t let go.
In regards to having children. “You’re going to fuck them up in some way no matter what you do, just try to minimize it”
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“if you have a problem, you can either solve it or you can’t. If you can fix it, no problem! If you can’t, no point in worrying about it!” -from a cartoon sheep from Garfield and Friends, turns out this is writing a bodhisattva.
I’m shit at implementing this wisdom but it’s still pretty good.
very similar to my beloved, the serenity prayer. one of the few pieces of Christianity that I hold near and dear to my heart.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”
Expanding on the second point: we are what we focus on. if you are practicing to be the type of person who believes people are bad you look for the evidence of bad in people. “Everyone lets me down”. To do this requires discounting and avoiding and ignoring the good that people do.
This means if you do this sort of thing you’re also not that great of a person.
Just imagine being on the other side of it: think of all the nice things you might do for such a person and got overlooked because they focus on complaining about all the bad people in their life all just to prove people are bad.
That startrek quote about making no mistakes and still losing
Being is better then having and having is better then seeming.
Ps: If you are reading this share your 2 cents about the above. Came up with it myself!
“Stairs are lots of little floors which makes it easier to get between the bigger floors” - Philomena Cunk
“The good things won’t be as good and the bad things won’t be as bad as the mind lead you to believe.” (Unknown source)
Cunk is likely the greatest philosopher of our time.
My experience is that the good things are often much better than i expect and it’s my thoughts that make the bad worse.
I grew up in a racist town, and was indoctrinated on racism in my youth. It never sat right with me, but even so, I still struggled with racist thoughts that would jump in to my head when I encountered indigenous folk.
Someone said to me though that it’s not the first thought that jumps in to your head that matters, because that’s what you’ve been trained to think. What matters is what you do after that thought has appeared.
And that’s stuck with me. It helped me be aware of the impact of indoctrinated hate, whilst also not getting tied up with guilt over my inability to completely purge myself of the indoctrinated bullshit.
It allowed me to retrain myself, and to make sure the shit I was raised with doesn’t get passed on to my own kid.
I couldn’t agree more. Trying to control your own first reactions to your environment is often like trying not to feel hot next to a fire. Totally futile and counterproductive. Control your behaviors and refine your beliefs.
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this. I think we could heal if more people felt they could openly discuss how they grapple with it.
This is really deep.
I also gotta say: I reserve more respect for anyone who changed their attitudes to something I admire than someone who always held them. Me? I’m pretty progressive. But it’s not like I can take credit. I share similar views to most people with my upbringing. Holding these beliefs is about impressive as a ball rolling down a hill.
Questioning your beliefs and going somewhere else? That’s an achievement.
To be clear, I’ve always been progressive. I was never overtly racist in the way so many of my peers were growing up. But their overt racism impacted me and filled me with assumptions and unchallenged beliefs that it took years to identify and challenge.
I was born in Moree (the destination of the Freedom Ride (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_Ride_(Australia)), and racism still shapes the town today. I don’t think it would be possible to grow up in that town without being shaped by racism in some way.
Fixed link and good one for not just going with the flow.
Wait… I thought the significantly higher than average percentage of Aboriginal people in Moree would cause the population to be less racist in general. Your experience implies that is not the case.
There’s diversity, where you have a lot of different types of people, and then there’s places with a high concentration of a minority group
The first one makes people less bigoted, because you can’t avoid dealing with people when they’re everywhere. Your not going to last long in NYC if you don’t want your food touched by them. Either you deal with it and get used to it, or you’ll find it hard to eat
The second one doesn’t force those normal human interactions. Instead, you have exposure. You see them around, but don’t have to treat them like people. You might not interact at all.
So every time you see them, it reinforces the racism
You see it all over the American South, people around the black communities aren’t less racist, they’re giga-racist
Those are words of wisdom that have always stuck with me too. The fact that your first thought can just be a hair trigger gross thing. But who you are is the reaction to that thought, and the actions you take then.
I was raised by racists and generally not-good people and I learned from an early age to lie lie lie. So recently when a friend was offering me money for something, my trigger thought was to ask for a few hundred dollars more. And just. Gosh, ew, no, no, that’s awful. I still feel bad about the fact that my initial thought was that, but the reaction that follows are where my morals actually lie.
Not an easy lesson to learn, but a very important one, IMO
