And have your daughters come to the garage and help replace brakepads on their bikes, install curtain rods, etc… etc…
You should be doing that all year long. These are not ferral kind. You have a responsability to parent them.
Actually, the rush of the holiday is the time when they should participate slighty less if they are not old enough to do some task independently. Because you must move quick and there is less time for teaching.My brother is the best chef in the family. You will always miss out on good food if you don’t screen all your kids for chef talent. Gender roles often lead to people not doing things they might be good at.
Considering gender roles, commercial kitchens are primarily and historically male dominated. The idea of the woman always being the cook is extremely antiquated.
I assume the families that need to hear this won’t listen.
They’re survival skills that everyone should know.
… People don’t do this?
I know everyone is raised differently, but i find it hard to believe that this is a real problem.
Plenty of people do this. But it’s great engagement bait to pretend otherwise
And don’t forget to teach all the kids how to fix an electrical socket, change a tire, build a computer.
How the electoral system works, how to use a gun, how to overthrow the government, measure out a shelf so it’s horizontal.
I once saw someone who didn’t know how to use a ruler to measure stuff. He held it in the middle of a sofa to find out how high it is.
That’s why before any children visit my house, I take all of the sockets out of the walls and leave the bare wires dangling from the receptacle. You want to charge your phone? Take this outlet and screwdriver. Oh, got a bit fried? Lesson one: check the breaker before doing electrical work, idiot.
The survivors go directly to trade school.
And place the hungry chihuahua in front of the circuit breaker. That way they learn to tame a dog and find the right switch. #twofer
That sounds like a lot of work. Just do like my parents did and buy a house that has all the electrical outlets red flagged and never fix them!
Good times! My current rental has no ground for any of the outlets and refused to admit it was an issue. I had to put in GFCIs on every circuit to make sure I don’t get killed by some random appliance.
I fixed this problem because I don’t want them to die in the bath tub but when they bought the house the ground wire was broken about 2 feet outside the house. Just hangin in the air lol.
Genuinely good advice.
I was on a trip with my partner (I am female, partner is male), and when we got off the train to go home, we had a flat tire.
He is not handy at all, and got super flustered and frustrated and was going to call AAA, and I was like umm… you have a spare in here, right? Time to learn how to change a tire! Pop that trunk!
And so I made him do it, and walked him through how, and now he knows for next time, yay! I’ve also fixed his dishwasher, patched drywall, several other plumbing things, etc. only thing I wont touch for someone else is electric. I wont even do my own unless its a plug-in thing.
He, in turn, helped me with building my computer and doing various software stuff I could probably do on my own but didn’t know how.
So even if those skills aren’t super useful for you directly, you can and will use them with other people and you can pass on the knowledge. I mean I learned to change a tire as a very young adult, from an off-duty cop who stopped to help on the side of the highway. I knew the basics, but he showed me the full process. And since then I’ve taught two others, but haven’t needed it for myself.
I love this approach. Learn so, if nothing else, you can teach others.
One of my first boyfriends showed me how to build a computer, he walked me through how to pick parts and check features, but I decided what to buy. When I had everything he showed me how to put it together and get it working.
Ten years later a different boyfriend’s laptop conked out. I got him his own set of tools and said “Time to learn how a computer works.”
My rule (and one from a buddy at work) is that in order to be allowed to drive alone my kids are going to be expected to explain to me how to change a tire, check basic fluids, and replace a headlamp/brakelamp.
I don’t care if they are physically capable of doing it (they are pretty petite girls and some people torque the hell out of lugbolts/nuts) but in case they ever require help from someone, they should be able to recognize if it is correctly done, or if the person is acting shady.
The headlamp is going to become the sign we are old. Newer cars are making them damn near inaccessible behind more engine components that keep being added. Some of them I’ve had to take the wheel panels off to go through that way.
They used to be so simple, bring back those days.
A similar thing happened with me and my sister. We were riding with our then boyfriends somewhere and got a flat. Niether of the guys knew how to change it. Both my sister and I did. It was late, and a cop stopped to check on us, a lady cop, she laughed when we told her what was going on, taught both of them right then and there how to change the tire.
I also helped a younger girl change her tire for her in a parking lot, she was really greatful she didn’t have to call her dad.
This. So much this. And I want to break it down a bit and give my own experiences.
Years ago, I was teaching my then-girlfriend how to change her oil. We were broke 20-somethings, so paying for a place to do it was a costly option. She was kinda “meh” on the idea but went with it. The moment she really got into it, though, was when a random guy walked by and was so happy seeing a woman learning how to take care of cars and how he wished his girl would learn that. She got a sense of pride from it, and afterwards, when she realised she did it herself and saved a bunch of money… she was very proud of herself. Rightfully so.
A (former) friend of mine had bought her first house just a couple of years ago. (Kinda wish she hadn’t because the house is in rough shape, but then again, the rental market is maybe in a worse shape… only time will tell). Anywho, I visit her, and she shows me the house. Not a single smoke detector anywhere in the house. No fire extinguishers anywhere. And in the living room, there was this fancy light fixture that was controlled by a dimmer switch… that was extremely hot. I think it was 6-8 bulbs (don’t recall) and each was 120w incandescent lightbulb… all through a dimmer. Unsure when the previous owner did that, but that’s a decent way to eventually cause a fire. The dimmer switch was literally hot to the touch. She knew it was hot, but didn’t really think anything of it. I took us to Home Depot/Menards/Fleet Farm (I don’t recall which exactly) and bought her a bunch of smoke detectors, extinguishers, and a new dimmer switch, which I installed, and we removed half the bulbs. Believe I also gave her a GFCI tester and told her to test every receptacle in the house.
Back in high school, I took a small engines course because I wanted to better know how engines really worked outside of a book. My station partner was a girl I knew (who lived a few houses down from me). One day I realised I was hogging everything (teardown and rebuild) and apologised and pushed everything to her. She pushed it back, said her brothers would do anything she ever needed, and she just wanted an easy course. (While this is not important to the story, it was a very unattractive move on her part, which did alter how I saw her, which, a few years later, when she asked me out, I rejected her.) Another course I took, which was an intro to welding, there was a girl who thought I’d do her work for her. I took to acetylene welding right away, which seemed to be the hardest for everyone else (hence why she picked me). Instead, I told her I’d help teach her, which she took me up on. The unbridled joy and pride when she got an A on her welding test… (a memory that leaves with me).
Final story, I was in college, and my roommate was a loser. He had no fucking idea how to cook. He tried to make Mac and Cheese once and didn’t know how to boil water. He had no idea how the washer/dryer worked. His mom asked if I’d teach him. And I did try, but he had no plans to learn; he’d rather drive the 2-3 hours back home to make his mom do his laundry. Or if he couldn’t make it that week, he’d just buy new clothes.
All kids should be taught all sorts of basic skills. And frankly, a bunch of adults could stand to learn things too. Example, do you know what an anode rod is? If not, I’m guessing you’ve been skipping out on maintenance. Do you know if your heater is gas/electric? And which one has a pilot light? Do you have a spare tire? Where is it? Have you ever used the jack on your car before? What are jumper cables and do you have some? How do they work and how do you use them correctly? Every adult should be able to answer all these questions and more.
I really wish someone taught me to build a computer
It’s like LEGO but with sharper edges.
Ah, the good old days of cheap cases, when every build took a blood sacrifice.
Good old days like yesterday.
Seriously, good luck finding one without a jagged metal edge waiting in eager anticipation for your supple flesh.
I feel like you people are doing something incredibly wrong. I’ve built and fuddeled with several computers over the years now and never once cut myself on one.
Plumbing or automotive work? Scrape my knuckles every time. Never with a computer.
I wanted to write: No better time to get started than now!
But looking at the RAM prices which are about to jump over to GPUs, maybe wait till after the AI bubble bursts.
32GB of DDR5 is north of $400, yeah might be best to wait.
I saw that yesterday. I tried to explain to my wife how absurd it is that the same 64GB RAM kit I bought a few months ago for $210 is currently over $760.
Yeah it’s mental. I’ve been thinking about building a dedicated gaming rig to play older multiplayer stuff via steam stream since my proxmox box has an older Xeon chip, but I’ll be damned at these prices.
So first you melt some sand…
Make mistakes in front of kids while doing this and show them it doesn’t have to be a big deal if they “fail”, as long as they’re failing safely (slipping and skinning your knuckles while trying to remove a bolt on a car for example).
My father once wanted to demonstrate the danger of alcohol in combination with fire. So he got a seemingly empty bottle of some high percentage stuff and held a lighter to the opening.
I don’t think getting massively burned on the thumb and having an enormous yellow burn blister for weeks was part of the plan. But it did help in getting the message across.
Oh noooo I’m glad he ended up being okay.
Also mending, how to do laundry, plus how and when to compromise.
My daughter always helps me with oil changes. We love it.
Plunging a toilet, cleaning a toilet.
Just last week I finally set and held a boundary for my ex. I did NOT unclog her toilet. She figure it out . Now she has her own toilet snake and knows how to use it
Writing the theme tune, singing the theme tune.
Instructions unclear my dick is now stuck in the toilet
It is all about the pull, not the push.
God I wish I knew how to do any of that. Thankfully there’s[email protected] to teach me that now
Everyone better stay out of my kitchen. I’m all for teaching kids to cook. But I don’t want amateurs on the field during the Super Sowl of cooking days.
I’m with you. I don’t want any boys, girls, or anyone else in the kitchen while I’m cooking, unless they’re there to bs and chat while I cook. This is not just on Thanksgiving, this is any day of the year.
I like Super Sowl. I’m pretty sure it was a typo but please leave it as is. It’s got Sowl.
Setting the table would be an easy task that can be taught throughout the year, and that skill can then be employed during your super sowl.
They can set the table before I wake up. But when it’s time to cook I need them out.
Or, teach them to cook. Did that for years and now they have their own families and can cook their own meals.
Reread my earlier comment. I’m all for teaching them to cook. The rest of the year.
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Every male in my family can cook and clean house.
And they cook better than their girlfriends/wives.
So yea, maybe hold your sexism.
Have you considered your family might be the exception and not the rule
Jokes on you lady, I only have sons, so boys do every chore.
Jokes on you lady, Thanksgiving isn’t for another 320 days, 12 hours, and 50 minutes 😤
Jokes on you lady, what’s thanksgiving?
The rest of the world may call it friendsgiving and celebrate it anyway ;)
In our house Mom was the chef and us boys were the su-chefs. If you want to live under this roof you’d better help with the cooking, serving, cleaning and everything else in the household. That’s the best way to learn how to do it all yourself.
I was already rolling meatballs and frying schnitzels when I was in early high school.
Edit: I have been informed that I use Linux too much and that it is sous chef, not su-chef or sudo-chef. Although my mom is the root user.
*sous chef. Sous is French for under. So the person directly under the chef is the sous chef.
Bone Apple Tea
Tomato tomato
Are you sure she wasn’t the sudo chef?
Dad taught us that there is no such thing as women’s work … there’s just work.
Once you live on your own or in a space without women, you quickly realize how no one cares who does the dishes, washes your clothes or mops your floor.
Unless of course you want to live like a wild animal.
Bonus: partners of every kind appreciate it if you do chores.
There is fair division of labor, though.
“We are equal partners sharing responsibility for maintaining our shared living space” is vastly different from “I don’t do dishes because that’s a woman’s job”
And make your kids help with stuff regardless of gender. So many people grow up without basic life skills bc parents didn’t involve them in activities regardless of the gender-coded-ness of those activities.
My mom deliberately didn’t give us chores, because she grew up with a strict father who overwhelmed her with them.
It backfired. I entered adulthood not even knowing how to use a broom. My first boss thought it was hilarious.
Please, teach your kid these skills. However, don’t use them as punishment! That just makes them all the harder to do independently. I have an ex who associated cleaning with being punished and, as a result, never volunteered to do it. Every household chore fell on me.
Please, teach your kid these skills. However, don’t use them as punishment!
This is the line to walk. I’ve framed chores with my son as ‘personal responsibility’.
While at 12 he still struggles with the broom (I’ll let him hand vac if that’s what he prefers), he knows how to do his own laundry and cleans his bathroom himself often enough too. Chores are a part of living, do your part, I say. I grew up the eldest daughter of a home with no mother, everything fell to me. But I’m not going to ricochet that back and have my son be useless. It’s a balance, to be helpful and responsible, this is the goal.
I grew up doing chores and failed to make my own kid do them. I thought I was being nice but I can tell I let her down now. :(
Kids need to have a childhood and feel useful both. Plus they are important skills
At our home, cooking and cleaning can for some reason bei either a punishment or a treat. Even the exact same action. It kinda puzzles me.
I have a friend who’s wife refuses to let anyone in the house do chores because “Nobody does it the right way”. Then gets completely overwhelmed with the amount of chores she has to do, and takes it out on my friend.
She seems to completely miss the point of teaching people “the right way” or “practice”.
My kids are expected to do a chore a day, I have a list of available options with the only rule that most things can only be done once a week. I don’t need the windows wiped down every single day, but Dishes and Laundry are always available. Even if they do something poorly, it is less than it was before and eventually they will get it done correctly.
“Meme”
Overheard a conversation a few years back where a group of guys were talking about how they didn’t know how to cook or do laundry because that was woman’s work and how they expected their mothers and / or wives to do that for them. It was so pathetic how proud they were that they could not take care of themselves.
Weird. Imagine thinking like that. How old were they?
60? 20? Does it matter?
It’s an entire culture that hasn’t gone away.
My father is 65 and could not cook a Kraft dinner to save his own life. Forget laundry. His son (my brother) believes the same. Whenever he is single his apartment goes uncleaned, he exclusively eats take out, and his clothes are barely laundered.
60? 20? Are those numbers? Counting is woman’s work, never learnered it!
Laundry (with a washing machine) is significantly easier than cooking (healthy/tasty food) tho. It takes me like 2 minutes combined to load up the machine, start up the cycle, and hang it out to dry; and an hour or so to cook a good meal for two.
Cooking doesn’t need to be hard. A crockpot and 5 minutes of prep will give you 6/7 days of pulled pork.
If I were to guess, I would say early 30s.
Crazy stuff. I can’t imagine not being self sufficient, let alone reveling in it.
