It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn’t come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn’t do? I WOULDN’T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.
Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.
There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there’s no hand contact but you can’t control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there’s gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.
Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That’s right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don’t constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.
Also without TP there’s no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP’ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn’t have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?
lmao we have an insult for europeans which translates to “butt unwasher” (or کون نشور). y’all have the permission to use it.
Is that Persian or Arabic? And can you transliterate please LMFAO. I love this.
it’s Persian. technically it transliterates to butt unwasher the translation would be “someone that doesn’t wash their butt”.
EDIT: sry i misunderstood it’s koon nashoor or kun nashur.
Unlike translate, transliterate means to convert from one writing system to another. The user is asking you how you write that in latin letters, probably so they can have some idea at all about how to pronounce it.
oh right i thought it meant translating word by word as opposed to translating to the target language. it’s koon nashoor or kun nashur.
Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker and somewhat by your primary school. So if no one ever mentions that to you, you’re probably not going to think about it, and even hearing about it is going to seem somewhat alien.
Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker
It reminds me of the poop knife. Now I wonder what poop knife habits I have that no one else does.
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Most of them are valid I don’t want to deny other people’s experience.
Gatorade is more refreshing and hydrating.
id go as far as saying buttholes crave it at this point. they cant just go back to water.
Gatorade tastes so shit it honestly belongs in waste water.
After I learned to wash my ass I realised it didn’t itch almost ever and then had the horrifying realization
Yep no poopy butt = no itching.
Better question: Why don’t we wash water with asshole?
They do actually all sewage treatment plants have filters that contain millions of tiny assholes.
I just gotta say I’m really confused by the “you don’t need TP” angle of bidet shilling, like I am a bidet user and a bidet shill but I still have to use several pieces of multi-ply TP to dry off down there, and sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed despite my 30 seconds of ass-wriggling.
I’ve been in the bidet gang for 13 years, but I do not understand the no-tp bidet people.
Not only for drying after, but I usually use tp before the bidet as well. If I don’t, I’m blasting poo everywhere in my crotch area.
hey, same! I like to do a quick preliminary wipe, water gun fun times, then dry off + wipe up anything the bidet missed. I definitely use less TP this way, but usage doesn’t just drop to zero.
sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed
That’s why I prefer bidet shower that way it doesn’t miss. If you are using the bidet to only wash your asshole then there’s no need for drying but I understand that people may want to dry. This is more of an anti-wiping post rather than anti-TP post I think I lost the plot after the second sentence but we can live in a world where the majority wash their ass and there’s still TP left for people that really want it.
comrade, if you’re just washing your anus and nowhere else with the bidet, then proceeding to not wipe at all, congratulations, you’ve simply relocated some of the shit to other parts of your crack.
I’ll make sure that the area is clean then wait a little bit so that it drys out then leave. If I could somehow pin point target the water straight into my anus and nowhere else I might as well go get an enema.
but like… why not do a quick wipe to get the residual shit? bidet alone is almost as gross as wiping alone, imo.
There isn’t usually any residual shit left but you can still wipe if you want it’ll still use way less TP than wiping.
the canadian toilet paper lobby has controlled every major political and media figure since 1900 in the west, to ensure the steady consumption of their product. where do these massive profits go? nobody knows, but some suspect the canadians are building a weapon underground in north sasketchewan
Currently reading this with the bidet on and water blasting up my ass as I rock back and forth to get every nook and cranny of my butt
I do the jiggle too
I need an AI powered bidet that can recognize my butthole and where poop is, then utilizes machine learning to algorithmically anticipate where my ass will be most doodoo in the future.
Hell yeah clean ass gang
Rise up!
Bidets exist but only in “fancier” homes. I think France & Italy have it more common. Anyways I use a hand bidet for travel, and have one at home. But I still need toilet paper because I dont want a wet crack.
“They don’t want to be great people” - Shah Jahan
Bidet gang.
Hexbear is back
It never left.
You can also shower less frequently because you don’t constantly smell like shit.
Nobody smells like shit after using toilet paper unless they’re doing it wrong
Then a sizeable percentage of people are doing it wrong because why on earth do so many people smell like poop? I know some people don’t even wipe but I’ve asked some whether or not they have wiped and despite that they still smelt like poop.
Then a sizeable percentage of people are doing it wrong
they probably are. they stop wiping before they’re done.
Idk where you live, but in Poland even though sadly some people do lack general hygiene and stink, almost nobody smell like shit in public places. And there’s basically no bidets in Poland anywhere, everyone uses toilet paper.
but I’ve asked some whether or not they have wiped
I’m in awe
I have no social filter aka I am an asshole.
Anyone scrolling down. Here’s an alternative if you can’t install a bidet. This disc top container works, especially convenient if you have used shampoo containers with it. Just fill it up with water and wash yer ass with it.
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This. It’s kinda on me though because I specifically mentioned bidets and shower bidets as the only solutions. I just took 5 minutes to type a stupid post without clearly thinking about the nuances of a topic as complicated as butt washing.
