I don’t like winter in general but Christmas is ok. I try not to put any demands on anyone, and only do what I can, but have worked at a place that closes for a week at Christmas, and that has made it a lot easier, getting an actual holiday for the holiday instead of scrambling to put it together.

You have not failed, you are alive, you are successful at living by definition. If someone at the holidays is making you feel unsuccessful, that’s mean. If it’s just you feeling it, though, they may not feel the same way. My kids LOVE unmarried aunts & uncles and I loved mine too. You are free to love them without responsibility, more like a friend and that is something kids can really use.

In the end, it’s just a holiday - most of us aren’t religious, it’s a get together time, some presents, a meal. When my kids were up northish, they said winter really was depressing because of the lack of sunlight, they had not realized that was a real phenomenon and were startled by how it made them feel. So be aware you may be feeling worse than usual just because of that, not seeing clearly or objectively.

I won’t lie, usually Christmas is my favorite time of year. Something about the music, getting to see all my family, and trying to find inventive ways to make friends and family happy through gifts always cheers me up. Never really had the money to go all out, but the spirit was there.

This year I just do not care. Usually I listen to dozens of hours of Christmas music and this year it is less than 2 hours so far. I’m not looking forward to giving or receiving gifts; it just feels so formulaic and rabidly consumerist. My usual comfort movies hold no interest for me. I’d skip it if I could. And all of that was before my grandmother died this past Saturday.