I’m older, straight as a ruler with queer kids, queer friends, grew up around 'theater people ', drag queens, lots of variety. Lesbians I did find off-putting when very young (like teenage) but it was fear I think? It only came up when a woman would flirt with me (apparently I don’t read straight to everyone, my kids still don’t believe me. )

Later I did just go ahead and try, and nope, I am straight. It didn’t freak me out just didn’t feel like sex. Honestly wish it were otherwise as I get older, women hold up better. But it’s men for me.

Finding women hot does not mean you are gay. Wanting and enjoying sex with them means you are gay. No problem either way, you don’t really need to define it just don’t be a jerk to people.

With porn in particular, realize so much is made by men and focuses on the women, we do too, it’s unavoidable but I think we watch and more imagine ourselves in her place, not want to DO her.

You can love someone romantically without wanting to share your life with them, or progress the relationship beyond casual.

You can love someone sexually but not romantically, or vice versa. And sure, you can have romantic feelings for someone and not trust your feelings because of previous experience.

Anything you can imagine, someone can feel.

I would just take her at her word. And tell her what you want, without asking her for anything. If she is not open to the kind of relationship you want, does it matter what she is feeling? I think not.

Beautiful. Whatever it is, it’s beautiful.

I have owned exactly one nonstick pan, more than 20 years ago, that was enough to convince me they were not a good idea. Cast iron gets better and better with time, nonstick wears out and gives off fumes that kill birds.

They are not good.

Only if they felt that way about themselves and everyone else.

I agree with everyone saying its thirst. Drink a big glass of water.

It was not that lady, it’s happened more than once? That is crazy. Same lady had a cat that could open the door by swinging on the doorknob, and a terraced yard that bluejays controlled the upper levels of and terrorized said cat, AND an ex who was a source of many awful but interesting stories as well.

I got married to my husband for two reasons. Mostly because his preference to be married was stronger than my preference to avoid it my whole life, but another big reason was that “stepfather” has more legal rights here than “mom’s boyfriend”. It was easier for him to pick my kids up from school or take them to the doctor, things like that. Same with me & his kids .

I didn’t marry my ex, 4 kids, over 20 years, we were a family. There should be (there were for us) forms you can fill out to give each other access for medical information and also to set each other as the responsible party if you are incapable. You don’t have to be married. We had to get something notarized, that was all. Find out if you can do that where you are.

We have much Spanish media here. US Spanish is (unsurprisingly) close to Mexican Spanish but my Spanish teachers in school were Cuban. No Vosotros. The Spanish you hear from radio DJs and telenoticias is US Spanish.

I don’t make these anymore, and when we did, had to ask someone with better nerves to open them. But I had a friend who had a great story about the canned biscuits. She went shopping and was waiting in the car, for her husband to finish shopping at a different store. Got sleepy, leaned her seat way back and went to sleep. Windows down, and it’s hot here. She wakes to a loud pop, thinks it’s a gunshot - feels her head, it’s all gooey, she thinks she has been shot and is in so much shock she has no pain. It was the biscuits. They exploded and got in her hair.

FWIW I didn’t read it that way. OP describes a particular workplace not a universal situation. Maybe where he is, the women at his work are useless. That doesn’t make it a sweeping generalization, just the situation where he is. I had a boss who wouldn’t hire men because his experience was that women actually got the work done, men did not. And I had a boss who only hired men (I was there before he was hired) and when I asked him WTF he said he wanted people who weren’t afraid of him, that me & the other lady there weren’t but most women would not speak up. Those are sexist - they held universal views and even worse, based their hiring on it.

I think it’s probably because people get irritated. Not to excuse it, but it does take some awareness and tolerance and patience, just like it does for you. Not “lesser” at all, more likely just annoying, and again, just like you are likely annoyed with them.

This happened to my youngest child. They had a high school girlfriend a grade younger, but more than a year younger, so for awhile it was sketchy, we teased them, but here the laws say it’s ok as long as you are not too far apart in age, I believe it’s 3 years or less apart in age.

No man is an island. So nobody.

If you mean ‘having your own place’, maintaining an apartment on one person’s earnings? I am nearing 60, and have never lived alone. I don’t think it’s normal or usual to be able to support a household of 1 by yourself, there are economies of scale so roommates pretty much always make sense.

Hmm, I would be a male, short, fat, conservative, idle, angry, gay. I guess I’d get a 4chan account and a big truck I had to climb awkwardly into?

Would lose most of what I like about myself but not sure. On things where we are middle of population we would keep those? So unless wildly brilliant or gorgeous you would not end up terribly stupid or ugly, right?

I do recognize how lucky I am now, to be able to see and hear and read and dance, to be living on a world with such a beautiful sky, with the biological equipment to be able to perceive it! To have no chronic pain but to have occasional crippling migraines that give me perspective on how I don’t have chronic pain.

No idea what gives you the impression I don’t know this? Do you believe all life is suffering?

I do not subscribe to the All Life is Suffering idea. Personally enjoy being physically embodied so much. My kids seem glad to exist too. We are the universe looking back at itself, it’s just so wonderful to get any time at all here to experience this.

I would never argue for everyone to have babies, at all. You have your own life, do what you want. But I don’t at all agree with extinction of all life because “suffering”. Yes that is part of life but it’s not all of it, not nearly.

When I was young, the boys’ public school dress code did exclude sleeveless shirts, the girls’ did not. Boys’ dress code excluded skirts, girls’ did not. Nobody could have short shorts.

Church camp, well it’s Florida, everyone wore swimsuits to swim, there was no mention of modesty about that, because swimwear is appropriate attire for swimming.

I think it’s systemic for sure; but also true that the only thing you can directly control is your own choices, so maybe this is a sort of hopeful take?

But like, what sort of choices are gonna lead you out of poverty, if you land there? I got out with school and then job, but does that even work anymore? Crime, maybe but that would take so much intelligence to pull off it is usually the realm of the already rich. I know a guy whose sister did topless dancing and was so good at saving the money she bought a house with it, and went to school after that, but that seems a one-in-a-million story.

I do think individual choices can send you TO poverty, but can’t really see how they can get you out, it’s more luck than choice.