I used to live in a city. Doesn’t matter where I live, the queer community is only accepting of a certain kind of queer. Which I’m not.
You do not get to paint the whole community like this. The community is only accepting of a certain kind of person: the kind of person that accepts and supports the community.
You’re not doing that. You’re stirring shit up, acting like some members of the community haven’t earned their place, and throwing around some extremely inappropriate stereotypes like your alleged experience is indicative of the community as a whole.
You want to be homophobic and stereotype people like this, and you want to be transphobic and dismiss their struggles up to now as “having it too easy”?
And you fucking come around saying they deserve to be oppressed? They “have it coming” because they “wouldn’t listen to their elders”? You want them to be oppressed?
Then you’re absolutely right. You’re not the kind of person the community accepts. Get the fuck out.
Wish I could help. I promise, if I could think of a way to help you, I would. On account of the whole external motivation thing, obviously.
Job searching is a genuine nightmare. Even for neurotypical people, but especially for people particularly sensitive to rejection with limited motivation and poor tolerance for tedious and repetitive bullshit with almost 0 gratification of any kind. Do literally whatever needs to be done here. Scream at the imaginary HR person for making you fill out the same form twice with slightly different wording. Pay a recruiter. Use software. Accentuate your qualities.
Pay or beg a trusted friend to help. Or just to keep you accountable. Not the guilt-induction of “hey, have you done the thing yet?” No, make an email that you only use for job searching (do that either way, trust me… the self-induced spam is horrible) and give them access (again, only a trusted friend or family). Have them check periodically. Not to induce guilt. To provide reward. Something like “Hey! If you apply to X jobs this week, I’ll treat you to lunch!” or “hey, let’s go see this movie tomorrow night. If you apply to a job today, I’ll buy the tickets. If you don’t, I’m going alone” (note this is why you may need to pay a friend for help lol. Swap in whatever rewards make sense for you.)
The idea of asking someone to do this will probably feel insane or weak. Lots of things probably make you feel insane or weak though, and those feelings are (usually) wrong. Other people often like to help you as much as you like to help them, even if it doesn’t feel like it because the whole rejection sensitive thing.
If you manage to pass the job-searching step - and if you’re in a career where this advice makes sense - you can try to keep the job by scheduling meetings to show off things that you’ve done, even though you haven’t done them yet. The meeting will make you accountable for doing it, and it may provide the necessary external motivation. If all else remains the same, it will probably still get done at the last possible minute, so don’t schedule it farther than a week out, and try not to overpromise in the meeting agenda.
Honestly, if not for the massive personal information required, I would suggest we build a place for ADHD people to swap details and apply to jobs for each other. I think people would be excited to help and energized by the experience of learning about other jobs, and would feel incredibly rewarded by any successes.