It’s not a problem until someone tells you to not refer to them as a dude or a guy. If you continue, you are just an asshole 🤷🏻
Sure, but we’re talking plurals of strangers atm. “Please don’t call me a guy going forward” is a different conversation than “what you just said is stupid, mean, and wrong”.
It’s the same picture?
No it really isn’t. One clearly and directly communicates a need. The other response shies away from that and insults without explaining why.
Drag… Supposes, that’s how it would look without applying much empathy. But if someone gets called something and says it’s bad, it must be clear they don’t like it. If they’re angry, that’s a kind of upset. It means they could be hurting. Drag would understand no matter how someone phrased it.
If the other party is 3, then yes. From adults I expect ability to differentiate between stating a need and throwing a tantrum.
Drag is very forgiving when a trans person is upset they’ve been misgendered. Growing up as the wrong gender is traumatic. It can literally give you cPTSD and personality disorders. Being triggered because you feel like you’re back in that situation is a completely understandable response. Drag uses gender neutral “guys”, but acknowledges that it’s a dangerous practice, and if you hurt someone then you need to own it. They don’t owe anyone politeness in that moment. If drag didn’t like that responsibility, drag wouldn’t take risks with other people’s mental health.
Out of curiosity, have your therapist told you ever about the dangers of using third person pronoun when expressing yourself? Like it strengthens the disassociation between you and your body and mind, etc. etc? If not, please change them.
This is coming from a genuine place, I’m not trying to be sarcastic or mean.
People really dont understand how languages work. Even brother and man can be gender neutral. If you say “man, whyd you do that” thats gender neutral. Same with dude and guy.
This. I’ve got a fair few trans friends, and we’re all in agreement - unless it’s obvious we’re talking in gendered terms based on context, “dude”, “man”, “bro”, etc are just interjections, not reference to someone’s gender. And, when we are talking in gendered contexts, we tend to be pretty clear about that.
It’s really great that you have friends who are in a good enough place to not worry about that stuff.
I definitely use “guy” as gender neutral. I used to refer to women as “dude” as well, but it was a bit controversial so I stopped
“Ladydudes” is the way to go.
Dudes and Dudettes
Ya’ll
I have used y’all in a singular sense, then all of y’all in a plural sense before 🤦
That’s some deep south nonsense right there.
