It’s odd that it comes up now but it has.

But let’s tackle the elephant in the room first (why I made this account in the first place).

Had a hookup. Of course I did.

It went bad.

I decided to bottom.

Prepared the whole day, only for the guy to be very eager (in a bad way) and the language barrier made it hard to communicate things.

He entered and came within 2minutes. (With a condom of course.)

Dude was definitely closeted, and I should have trusted my gut about having fun with people that I can actually communicate to.

But alas. He was very awkward, and promised a round 2 but then complained about the room being too hot and having a headache (lol).

We talked a bit. He admitted that he usually targets people of my racial background

I just told him to go if he wanted to, can’t really force him.

Went a bit delirious for an hr but calmed down.

Talked to a friend about this, and I am already laughing at this experience. Taking a break from Grindr and the other gay apps for now.

Worst part? I actually did have a good experience with another guy this past week and now I am just reminiscing it. We follow our socials but he’s half-way across the globe now. Fuuuck - and I did meet some other cool, descent people.

But back to ol’ reliable for now. My hands and toys can seemingly do things some of these men can’t do. (Very real)

and from the previous thread,

yes I did start on PrEP, and had all STIs tested, all negative. I know it wouldn’t even capture this and last week’s activities, but I’ll watch closely for symptoms.

So back to the title,

I feel like an adult, atleast for now.

Common to most people around my age, I never feel like an adult. I used to relate. But now, after all this but also other aspects of my life, I think I’ve practically done all the bullshit an adult is supposed to do.

And I also realize (again) half of these “adults” are fucked in the head, so not really something to live up to.

Until next time.

Edit: clarity