- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
You must log in or register to comment.
My neighbors daughter had one of those water guns. I told her if she shoots at me, I’ll get the hose and retaliate. She grinned, shot at me, and ran away laughing.
I talked to her dad, he nodded, and when she came back for more mischief, she got wet.
As a parent, if my kid did that, I’d likely side with the neighbour. I would put it (very loosely) in the category of “natural consequence” punishments.
It fits the crime, it discourages the crime, it forces empathy with the cat, and it does no real harm.
This is my favorite answer. I’d argue that he got less than the natural consequences of his actions. In nature, when one assaults another, even with something as harmless as water, it’s usually reasonable to interpret it as a threat, the response to which is usually violence. That kid is lucky he didn’t get a face full of claws. I’ve gotten a lot worse from gently touching cats that, as it turned out, didn’t want to be touched. Boundaries are important.
Natural consequences doesn’t mean “law of the jungle” here. It just means linking cause and effect in a proportionate manner.
I tend to use a lot of “natural consequence parenting”. Basically, the response should flow from the cause. If you throw water over your friend, you can’t then complain if they throw water over you. You learn that, while it’s fun when expected, it can be deeply unpleasant when unexpected.
It’s a lot more effective than random generic punishments. The trick is shielding them from excessive results, while allowing proportional ones to play out. E.g. swinging on a chair will get a warning, but often not stopped. When they fall, there’s an “I told you so” before/with the cuddle. If there is a risk of a more serious injury however, e.g. the corner of a table where their head may hit, then I step in and stop things.
I don’t have kids but this is pretty much how my dad raised me. It made me really respect when he gave me a hard no for something, it meant “no really the risk majorly outweighs the reward” and even if I didn’t understand it at the time I trusted it. I got a lot of I told you so after varying seriousness of injuries lol. Eventually I learned that the soft warning meant I was going to have a lot of fun but I needed to be ready for if it went sideways. Now I’ve got a pretty healthy sense of my own limits and when to start gauging risk/reward
That’s basically the goal I’m aiming for. It’s also worth remembering to always give an (age appropriate) explanation with the “no”. If you’re using a hard no, then there is something they don’t yet understand. Explaining it lets them integrate that knowledge into their future risk management.
The only downside is their confidence is high enough to terrify me! The job of containing and shaping that confidence, without damaging it gives me plenty of grey hairs.
As a native social media pedant, I’d just like to take a moment to split hairs and point out that’s the literal definition of that phrase.
With all that said, I’m glad you’ve taken that approach. They’re very lucky to have you. I wish I could’ve had more adults like that in my life as a child. Here’s to you and your contribution to supporting the next generation. May they pass on those values, too.
That’s why I clarified. There’s 2 ways to read the phrase, one a lot harsher than the other.
It seems to be working well. It also results in me being surprised a lot of the time. I’m ready to deal with a scuffed knee, or a bruised ego. Instead they either get back up and try again, or just pull it off. At that point I need to mentally correct for their new capabilities.
The key thing is, I’m not looking after a small pet, I’m training a future adult. They need to both instinctively understand how the world works, while packing as much awesomeness and magic into the formative years as possible. Letting them learn and practice is a big part of that.
I think it depends a bit on where the cat is. If my cat is in somebody’s yard and the owner does not like it, it’s perfectly fine to spray my cat with water. In fact I do the same to my neighbours cat to prevent cat fights. If my cat is on neutral territory, I would be more pissed.
Agreed, there are 1001 context points that could change things around, one way, or the other.
My head hurts from reading that. Comma and periods, people. Comma and periods.
…,clea.rly ,.com.,.,mas .,….a n .,.d ,p,e,r,i,o,d,s……,.,.,areimportant
Puntuation is such a waste of space and ink.
This is what big comma and periods want you to believe. Don’t be a fool!
too many commas and periods to provide a believable refuttal
Too few periods indicate a pregnancy.
please dont say we need to use correct grammer its unnecessary periods or commas in all of history have never really added anything to a sentence or body of text writing is about the soul not trying to control peoples formatting formatting its self is often overrated and not at all necessary inorder to discern what the meaning is of the writers passage
Let’s eat, Grandpa.
Let’s eat Grandpa.
Commas save lives, friend.
I think there are a few people who haven’t spotted that this is sarcasm. At least, I think it’s sarcasm.
That’s the disturbing part, people are so dumb that it’s often impossible to know if it’s sarcasm or stupidity. We’ve gotten to a point where it’s often “this is too dumb/weird/illogical to be sarcasm”.
Time to splash the father
If it was funny to do it to the Cat… It was hilarious doing it to the kid.
deleted by creator
Idk,
Shouting “Hey, don’t do that” loud and clear may be more effective.
-
kid may have thought they where alone and will get jumped from getting caught.
-
May alert the parents their kid is up to mischief.
-
Doesn’t potentially start an escalation war with neighbors
-
Doesn’t carry the small risk of the child falling or otherwise getting hurt with you as an easy blame.
Think of it like this: Does the kid now understand the “evil” of their actions to try be better next time. Or will they feel vindicated by their parents support against your “evil”
-
deleted by creator
If my kid did that, I’d let you splash them again.
Seriously my first thought if I saw this all occurring and my kid came complaining to me about it is I’d just say “well this is how the cat feels”
Truly cannot conceive of any other appropriate response. My kid’s an asshole sometimes, better he get gentle lessons now.
You can tell the people in here thinking it’s ok to retaliate like that are people that live alone with cats or in their parents basement with cats. I have cats and children. Y’all this isn’t the way to go about this.
At 10 they should know better. Now, I don’t know the dynamic of this “neighborship”, and pettiness is not the way to go about anything. At the same time though, it’s only water.
It’s water, get over yourself
pours a basin of water over you
If someone intentionally caused harm to any of my cats, I live near a large national forest, and once you get a few hundred yards off a trail, no one is going to find a body.
Yep you harm a hair on my cats head, my vengeance will be swift and brutal
Everyone here balancing the ethics of getting wet like it’s assault.
Water melts snowflakes and wicked witches, everyone else need not worry.
All living things should be used to being wet either all the time or somewhat regularly. To think beyond that, wow, society has its teeth in you and you are lost.
Those 40 acid tablets I had in my back pocket though
“I hope you’re free for about a month, man!”
“hey man, am I driving ok?”
“I think we’re parked, man”
It is assault, though.
Kid acted maliciously towards the cat. It’s not like the kid accidentally knocked a bottle of water and some of it splashed the cat. No. There was a conscious decision to torment the cat by deliberately throwing water over it.
Punishment fits the crime here.
I’ll remember to call the police every time it rains.
I’ll take things that never happened for 200$
“Next time it won’t be water”.
Bullets?
Cat piss
We’ve a lot of cats coming through the garden. I wouldn’t mind if not for my dog, who does and goes insane when she spots a cat. So I’ve been thinking about getting a super soaker to chase them away. I think that’s pretty harmless, and perhaps they learn to skip our garden after a while… What do you lot think?
I think they taunt you by shitting in your flowerbeds while you’re not looking.
I know they do!
As a cat owner I approve using a a super soaker. I use a mini-soaker on my own cats in rare cases (being bengals they love water but despise being sprayed) - they probably catch on quickly and should bolt when they see you reaching for it soon.
That being said throwing a whole cup at a cat or making it soaking wet is not ok.
Thanks 🙂 I don’t intend to use one of those canon sized ones, I was thinking a mini like you said. Just a little squirt should do the trick 😇
Why not simply work on training your dog to be less reactive?
Working on that. Still would prefer cats to skip my garden though!
