i’ld happily send some (like 8 or so) eggs to the us, but…

• if you order now it will be the best deal ever, no one had ever made such a good deal, i’ld say its the best deal of the world, they’ll ask how could you make such a good … you get it.
• delivery will start roughly within a few congress days, but go fuck yourself, if not.
• just for the price of some scrap metal in the us, so 100.000$ each (not the package, each) see usd currency is currently dropping for reasons, so we must take care you’re not ripping us off.
• the money needs to arrive within 2 businesscalendar days (not congress days) from now, later arrival results in 25% fee per day over that time, fee will be cut off from each egg separately before packaging. good luck with european banking standards on a weekend
• no special packaging will be used and neither way no garantee for anything, we only garantee that a shipping label will be created, delivery guy -if at all- only has to pretend to have ringed the doorbell even if he was on another continent at that time. also no garantee for freshness of the product should it arrive at all. delivery guy also can choose to deliver to your neighbour instead (but we’ll tell him that those cut-in-half eggs should better not go to canada nor mexico, they don’t deserve such)
• if you change your mind and want to return the eggs, you’ll have to send the very same eggs back, even when just a handfull of worthless screws were in the package when it arrived. go f yourself and fuck amazon too, they like to f with everyone, so just do it.
• we might decide to send spider or locust eggs instead of those from chickens, you didn’t declare that exactly anyway, just ask amazon about slight product changes when clicking the “into shopping card” button, yes, we do adopt us-american style of business extra for doing business with the us.
• we do have the very same eggs for a smaller price somewhere, but this offer is just placed on top of the search by sellers choice, so its your fault if you use this offer (try use amazons order by price, cheap first and see what offers cease to exist for that search then)
• ah i nearly forgot, this order is a monthly abo by default.
• the money will be partly used to free chickens from slavery, this is our duty when dealing with pro slavery nations.
• this is not our chicken and egg problem

UPDATE: fixed business days to calendar days (thanks @psud)

no, its just illegal there to collect stones while hiking.

better don’t do that in switzerland 😉