But how else am I supposed to pet the alligators? Do you seriously expect me to go all the way to Africa to pet the crocodiles in the Nile instead?

Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom…

I think AP covered it.

What? Does Nurgle have a super PAC or something?

In other news, visibility bias has been classified as communist propaganda. Anyone who says this isn’t representative of an actual increase in the incidence rate is a communist and can safely be ignored.

The virtual machine I installed windows on to play games with kernel-level anticheat and other such spyware apparently isn’t compatible with windows 11. That’s a positive for 2 reasons, which are:

1. It can’t run Windows 11, so no risk of a forced upgrade
2. Windows won’t constantly harass me to upgrade.

10/10 experience, would not give give Windows access to bare metal again.

My parent’s garden has literally thousands of garlic plants that show up unplanned every year. When clearing part of the garden to plant something else, pulling up like 30 garlic stalks is normal. Come harvest time, they give away as much garlic as they can and they still have so much that they have to throw a bunch of it out because it all goes bad before they can use it.

Yeah, they’re an Ace Combat protagonist.

When I was 12, I released chlorine gas into my room in the process of trying to make oxidiser for rocket fuel and also did a bunch of other stupid shit that could have maimed or killed me. Don’t underestimate kids.

I haven’t eaten at a Mcdonalds since I was in elementary school because my entire family agrees that their food sucks.

I have like 40 empty prescription bottles in my sock drawer