As a fellow dad, the shit is hard. Very much social media make it hard, but there is a general misnomer that having kids is a bundle of joy. It’s f’n hard, and no one tells you that. The first is especially hard as you have no reference. Like you when my children were born i did not have an immediate attachment. In fact it felt like a new responsibility/task. And like you i just went through the motions - to survive. But over time “bonding moments” will occur and the power of those moments, over time, will be more than you can imagine. And it may not be the big things like walking or talking but some little thing like him catching a fish, singing one of your songs with you or unintentionally using one of your phrases or mannerisms. Your story has some similarities to mine so a couple suggestions.

• if the baby isn’t latching or feeding “normally” encourage your wife not to fight it. The idea that only breast feeding creates this unbreakable bond is horse shit. It’s the dynamic you have over the next 25 years that matters. Pump, bottle feed, and take care of yourselves. Like others have said, and its the absolute truth, you have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of him. There is a great book that all parents should read called “Kids Are Assholes”, and infants are no different. Your son may be an asshole when it comes to feeding/eating. But he may be awesome in telling his mom he loves her every night.
• Mom’s mental health is very important and very complicated. The chemical cocktail her body has been and is providing her is a real “doozy”. Provide as much emotional support you can (without sapping yourself) and continue to encourage counseling. These people are experienced in this situation (its your first time through it) and they guide and listen.
• If there is one thing that I hope sticks with you and wish I had done for myself was to talk with a counselor. It is unbelievably helpful to have someone to get stuff off your chest. It’s not your broken or can’t handle it - its simply having someone to vent to and likely providing you some feedback / perspective that actually makes you feel better about the situation.

Parenting is f’n hard. But there are some rewards along the way that are irreplicable and make your life more fulfilling than it would be otherwise.

Yes sir! I remember it taking about the same amount of time try to get out of the parking lot. We lost part of our group and were wondering around after the shows for about an hour looking for them. I remember some drunk ass had swiped a security golf cart and was driving around with an empty bud light case on his head. Ah - good times.

Looks more like a circle jerk to me.

Of course US trucks run on coal. I see them rolling coal all the time! They cant roll coal if it wasnt coal. Duh…

Rockfest, Texas Motor Speedway, 1998?