• Declare Gnosticism is no longer heresy
• Absolve my entire family for the sole purpose of excommunicating the members I don’t like
• Dig up a bunch of other popes and put them on trial for failure to condemn genocide, nullify their papacy
• Make a weird new calendar system, ensuring my name is remembered forever

Yeah, that tracks. Coordinated male-only lying teams are behind 100% of the world’s problems

Gonna be real with ya, Buddy Christ needed a Hawaiian shirt.

Yeah, they’re pretty insistent you be a member of the club before they make you president.

I just figured a great majority of us weren’t catholic is all. If you are, you’ve got a better shot than me.

Shit masses

Yeah, normalize lying to women!

“Who watches the watchmen? Well that’s gotta be the Police police. The Cop cops. The Fuzz fuzz. The 55-00.”

Today at work I learned how truly dogshit our union stewards are. We got people from the other shift coming in to work ours even though our shift just had our hours cut back. I don’t think our union stewards are doing much about it, and IMO, one of them is benefitting from it.

As deeply bigoted as our old steward is, she had a much stronger understanding of labor relations and I’m almost positive she’d have given management an earful over this.

Only in the sense that fascism is the logical end point of American Exceptionalism.

I always miss the Twin Peaks/Venture Bros quadruple feature of my dreams