Fish shit in it.

Immediate failure for not being academia levels of brain-broken. You’ll sit in your cube and like it!

Oh, the funniest part of this to me was how certain I was it was true. I used to have to find alternate routes into the building all the time because of the geese. I think they nested in the bushes near all the doors. If it wasn’t, it was a very good lie and I appreciated the effort anyway.

This was for a lab I was teaching, so they had to be there in person. It was a 3 hour block, so I wouldn’t have even asked why they were late. I only even remember 5+ years later because they came rushing in with an explanation and I thought it was hilarious.

This may have worked. I once excused a student for being late because the geese were being aggressive.

Donate harder and maybe they’ll consider doing something!

My cat is always either telling me he wants to go outside unsupervised, or that he wants my food instead of his.