BioWarfarePosadist [she/her, they/them]

  • 2 Posts
  • 31 Comments
Joined 5 years ago
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Cake day: July 25th, 2020

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  • Relationship stuff so ignore if you want:

    spoiler

    Who takes care of the caretaker. In my polycule, I am the financier, Accountant and group mom. When someone is sad, I do my best to be there for my partners. I hold up the household, but I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.

    Whenever I try and bring it up, I get sympathetic words, but despite asking, no one is taking on more responsibility around the home. Worse of all, no one has asked if they can do anything to help me relax. Nobody sits down to watch my comfort shows with me. Nobody wants to play the games I want. Nobody wants to go to the events or places I want to go to.

    I’m really at a lost here. How can I make my partners realize what I do. Two of them were homeless before they got with me, and the other was living at home. The only expectations I have ever really enforced is paying rent, and even then, it’s basically income based. Anytime I ask for them to give more though (like labor around the household or the relationship, not money) I am meet with reasons why none of them can do those things and how I’m a bitch for asking.


  • I agree with the other poster. You are allowed to vent to friends about issues. I feel it is more on the friend of the ex for hurting your ex, because either the friend made it seem like you vented about something worse or maybe got convinced after the fact that that conversation was uncomfortable. The friend should have also told and given you a chance to make the decision to stop when they were feeling uncomfortable, instead of letting you on. If you had continued after they had mentioned being uncomfortable, then you would have been at fault. But they didn’t and you were unaware of discomfort you were causing at the time.

    I think the ex is being very unreasonable in this. You have mutual friends now, the ex doesn’t have a monopoly on any of them, and neither do you.

    You misjudged your own actions, and the person who was most affected by them, in the friend, didn’t do anything to let you know you were wrong, and instead went to a third party after the fact to tell THEM there was a problem.