I know it’s impossible to judge oneself fairly, but believe me when I say my entire way of thinking revolves around fairness & the actual “right thing to do” after all sides are considered. I always try to look at things from every angle I can think of to “get the big picture,” and decide what is the best, most correct answer to any situation. It’s pretty much what I’m all about.
As such, I’ve long proudly considered myself a bit of an SJW. I’ve got too many issues and responsibilities of my own to be much of an activist, but I feel I’ve done my reasonable best to figure out the truth of things while still trying to remain open to new information.
But fuck this. I’ve had enough of how shitty humanity can be. I knew from Israel’s actions that even those historically known as victims can be shitty, but I’ve just had my own personal revelation from an extremely marginalized group I’ve always supported. And I’m fucking disappointed as hell.
This post in a transgender community was about AOC knocking on Riley Gaines by saying “Maybe if you channeled all this anger into if you channeled all this anger into swimming faster you wouldn’t have come in fifth.” I adore AOC, but felt this response was a bit below the belt because it came off to me as attacking Gaines’ physical performance rather than her shitty take. IOW, attacking the body, not the mind.
I made the mistake of saying this, thinking that a community that one might reasonably expect to be among the most sensitive towards topics like shaming physical aspects of a person that they only have so much control over would at least give it some consideration and thoughtful responses even if they didn’t agree.
Wow, was I wrong.
I was pulled upon mercilessly as if I had said Gaines’ was absolutely correct, which in no way had I done. I was deliberately misinterpreted so people could attack without any logic, reason, or any semblance of open-minded discussion (from a group I would expect to be among the most open-minded out there).
I tried and tried a dozen different ways to get my point across as respectfully as possible, but nobody seemed to care about any of that - literally calling me a “shitty person” and refusing to provide any justification or examples where I had fit that description.
Ultimately, many comments were deleted - most unjustly, IMHO. Then I was banned for “misinformation.” WHAT misinformation?
I feel more alone now than ever on this planet full of incredibly crappy humans on all sides. And I’m just done. Fuck you (almost) all. I’m already only still bothering to live because my disabled spouse is dependent upon me, but I just don’t think I can do this all alone anymore. I’m so tired of trying to be reasonable and fair in a world that not only doesn’t respect me for it, but actively tramples on, takes advantage of, and otherwise screws me over for it. I’m done.
Good night. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning, maybe I just won’t. Anything
Fuck this.
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you’re growing up.
people don’t care about their supposed ideals. What they care about is having ideals they can use to feel morally superior to other people and to use as cudgels to beat others down with.
You disagreed with the mob, so the mob tried to silence you for pointing out maybe their version of justice isn’t that just afterall.
lemmy is just like other social media
steer clear of it and take care of yourself and your mental health instead
Yet here you are
It may be more apt to share the recommendation that individuals should regulate their social media use to limit negative effects. The limits must be self-defined according to what each of us can tolerate. Bear in mind that it is often easier to define limits with the help of a mental health professional.
fwiw i think you were (mostly) in the right there
it’s the same logic imo behind “we don’t misgender quote bad unquote people”
if it’s a shitty thing to do – and imo attacking someone’s physical ability is a shitty thing to do – justifying it because you think the target somehow deserves it doesn’t make it not shitty
it also makes anyone vulnerable to that behavior because others have decided it’s justified, that they are part of whatever “other” group
(there are parallels here to death penalty or prison abolition arguments)
(also we have to hold space for the paradox of tolerance. nazi punks fuck off, etc.)
the only thought I have to the contrary here is that what AOC said (“maybe if you channeled this anger into swimming faster …”) can be read as critical of the transphobe’s behavior and choices – where she’s choosing to direct her anger – and not her physical ability
anyway
people sure can be shitty and defensive about it, huh
I hope you can take some time doing nourishing things away from the internet and feel better. all warriors need a break from the front lines, SJW’s included
edit: this happened on a blahaj community? wow. I am disappointed in my peeps. otoh queer communities, like all besieged communities of vulnerable people, are understandably sensitive and kinda bitey toward anything that might threaten them. everything is complicated
I’m not close to this but 2x thoughts:
- If your an athlete then you’re dedicating yourself to physical fitness. Does that make comments on your physical fitness fair game?
- You’re meant to ridicule those in power you disagree with. It is a good way to remove their power.
Again, I’m not informed so probably wrong.
Focus on whay you can control, your thoughts and your actions.
All joy is in our heads.
All the best!
I was deliberately misinterpreted so people could attack without any logic, reason
Yes, that happens everywhere.
It is the favourite tool of all who do politics-in-everyday-life.- They change the subject of the idea you are applying to.
- They reinterpret your claims into something you wouldn’t even want to defend.
- They will use premises of secrecy to create frameworks that make it easier for them to falsely report events.
- And they are not only on the internet, but also everywhere you can go to earn money.
Fuck that, Gaines grifted and spun a tie for fourth place into an hate machine that is hurting people. She is still, even now, after years, going around and spitting her hate.
