we just broke up, and i more or less feel like she didn’t want to feel bad so she dated me. i’m highkey tired of people who only like me platonically getting with me because it’s only them who try to date me, then they realize they don’t like me or didn’t like me all along and just played with me because they didn’t want to feel bad.
i can’t help but be upset and i do not wanna see my ex at all, but she’s such a nice person :(
and i’m tired of never “clicking” with people because it’s always their damn reason for being hesitant or breaking up with me, i never click with anyone because i’m so damn weird and different and they just feel so bad for me for that.
yes, i need someone to talk to. please be nice and don’t be rude or anything like that, i’m not in the mood right now.
These are some awful feelings with which to grapple. The need to be appreciated, cherished, and nurtured is why we enter into relationships.
There is opportunity for you here to find people who fulfill your companionship needs. However, the corollary is: out of all your past relationship failures, the common thread is you. There is something in your interpersonal template that attracts you to people who treat you badly, attracts such people to you, or some combination thereof.
I hope you can find healing, growth, and the companionship you crave.
thank you so much!! i know you can’t say for sure, but does it sound like i have been used?
Not enough context to say. And really, my opinion one way or another is (and should be) worthless. If you feel used, your perception here is necessarily valid regardless of how grounded in reality.
The key here is to examine your own interpersonal template and remedy whatever it is that results in these relationship dynamics in which you keep finding yourself. If you weren’t actually in an exploitative relationship, it’s up to you to address the thought patterns that led you to believe that. If the relationship was exploitative, then it’s up to you to address your traumas and lack of boundaries that precipitate these relationships.
I’ll close with: all relationships are transactional in one way or another. The exchange might not always be immediately apparent, yet can be utterly benign and mutually beneficial. Just because someone wants something from you doesn’t mean it’s nefarious. You need to define your boundaries and needs, then be explicit about that with potential partners.
Thank you!!!
Its ok to feel angry. It doesn’t even have to be justified. You don’t have to take out your anger on people, you can just feel it. It is a part of the grieving process.
Thank you so muchhhh :))