For context (if you’re a sane person and not extremely online), researcher William Costello recently did a simple, anonymous Twitter poll. Men and women were invited to rate pictures of British singer Olly Murs when he was huskier vs. when he really hit his gym goals and became legitimately shredded.
The thing is that were TOLD that’s what women want all of our lives by the media, companies and all that, despite women telling us the opposite. And it’s hard to break that honestly. I have a low self esteem, so it’s hard to accept compliments about my looks. I mean, I’m not bad. I’m tall and not fat, small gut, but not even dad bod and whenever I get compliments from women, I just assume it’s cause they like me for my personality or sense of humor or something. Like I get I’m not bad, but it’s hard for me to fathom that I’m actively attractive to anyone.
It’s absolutely a fabricated mental issue because of environment, but even knowing that, and being told over and over by different women (and men and once a trans woman) it’s just hard to accept. It’s very hard to get over that hurdle.