Suicide, self-harm mentions
In high school, I bullied one of the Special Ed students. (He was a girl back then but is a dude now because I still talk to him and we are friends.) Despite being smart, I couldn’t see past my belief that all autistic/special Ed students were dumb and grouped him in with them.
He also was very awkward and quiet, and would always greet us or try to ask us how our day was. I eventually got annoyed with his awkwardness and his greeting us because he refused to gossip or talk about drama. I therefore called him stupid, especially socially, for not knowing or caring about our school drama, and with my friends, threatened to beat him up, told him to “shut the hell up”, and “kill himself”. Everyone but me still hates him and doesn’t talk to him anymore.
We bullied him to the point he got very depressed and traumatized and even tried to hurt himself.
Now, we’re friends and he’s like a brother to me. We made up, I apologized, but a part of me still thinks his social awkwardness that made him target to the bullying was his fault.
Do you REALLY still think it’s his fault, or are you just being self-aware about your own prejudices and biases? Like, do you recognize that, logically, the idea that it’s his fault makes no sense, but still can’t shake the feeling?
If so, that’s rather normal. Hell, that’s arguably a staple of emotional maturity: recognizing that you HAVE emotions and feelings and thoughts that you can’t just get rid of, but being able to avoid acting on them, or otherwise letting them control you.
If not, well… I’m glad you’re choosing not to act on that opinion (assuming you’re giving us a full and accurate story). But that’s an utter-nonsense opinion. It’s roughly the equivalent of blaming someone born blind for not being able to see.