So I just finished my masters in CS and got a job as a junior software engineer. When I first chose CS for my bachelors, I did so because it was somewhat intuitive for me. But I wasn’t crazy about it. Thought the interest would grow over time. I’ve had undiagnosed ADHD throughout my life and thought the difficulties with CS during my bachelor’s (which took almost 7 years) was due to the ADHD and not due to lack of interest in the subject. Learned coping strategies and did my master’s. Graduated with a 4.0 GPA so I’m not bad at it for sure.

Now I’m medicated and I finally feel like I’m able to be 100% of myself. But despite that, I still just do the tasks at work for the sake of doing it. I like the problem solving aspect but it isn’t something I dream about every day. I see my mentor working in the same company live and breathe this stuff and I can tell there is a clear difference in the thought process between both of us. It’s easy for him to produce great quality work as he’s naturally curious about this stuff. Me, I just try to get it done. It’s not lead by curiosity for me. What grabs my interest is stuff like literature, history, linguistics, philosophy, sociology, movies etc. I don’t need any incentive for those things. I’m naturally curious about those fields.

Now I’m wondering if I should still stick with software engineering where I’m decently okay but not that curious about it . Or should I consider a career more aligned with the social sciences/humanities? I don’t even know what careers are in those fields that would be comparable in terms of pay/growth to software engineering. Is the choice between money and passion or can I have both to some degree in the non-SWE fields?

  • Liberteez@lemm.ee
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    3 days ago

    Congratulations! You have a career.

    I recommend focusing your passions into hobbies. If you want to change careers, give yourself a time span to do so, and do NOT abandon the old career prematurely.

    Consider spending a couple years passionately pursuing your interests outside of work or in your downtime. Consider this a training period.

    Then, spend a third year where you take on some freelance clients applying your passion to small projects as a side hustle. This will make you some chump change.

    Do this for three years, learning how to expand it as a business.

    Eventually you can transition from full time career A to part time career A, part time career B, and then finally full time career B if you can sustain it and prefer it.

  • Quai [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    Geospatial Information Science & Tech, outside of marketing/real estate/defense contracting, veers toward the humanities in numerous ways. Having a CS degree with development experience is a big advantage.

  • Photuris@lemmy.ml
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    3 days ago

    It’s called “work,” not “play.”

    You just do what you gotta do for the money.

  • dil [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    Honestly, having a combination of competency and indifference is perfect for a wage labor job.

    If you’re competent, software engineering is the best wage labor in terms of dollars per amount of effort (though I’m very biased).

    Most folks come in with a ton of passion, then burn out in a few years because they overwork themselves.

    Something I’ve noticed is that it takes a bit of time to get your feet under you at a new job, but if you’re able to make a good impression and develop trust, you’ll generally be given a lot of liberty in your day to day.

    Ideally, you’ll find an aspect of the work that you enjoy, and can devote your time to it. e.g. I’m a big fan of good data and monitoring, but needed to try a bunch of stuff to learn that.

    Also hard agree with woodenghost’s reply - I think the market is starting to shift for SWEs to one where unions will be beneficial, and if you’re able to engage with that I’d recommend it.

    And from experience… there’s a lot to be said for not making your passion into your job. All jobs will be tedious and frustrating at times, and they can suck the enjoyment out of something you enjoy.

    This essay has stuck in my head regarding types of folks at a company (and looking at it now it maps pretty well onto Marxist class theory). If you’re working at any job at any company, you should have an idea of which camp you want to be in, and then play that role.

  • consider that many fields, including the humanities, have a need for people with your skills. and you could find out more about those specialized needs by furthering your formal education in the humanities and how they interact with digital archives/preservation, or some other point of convergence.

    I, too, started in “computers” but after a few years I figured out that it’s more of a skillset and knowledge base than a mature discipline, so it’s kinda boring unless you’re doing something interdisciplinary and novel with it. and most shit just isn’t. it’s monetizing fart apps.

    so I went back to school for something I was really interested in (and completely unrelated), having “computers” in my back pocket. it helped me immensely in school/grad school and then again later in getting to work on novel projects with organizations I wanted to be a part of, because usually people aren’t combining “computers” and another discipline in a single head.

    anyway, all that to say, you’re allowed to keep learning. as it turns out, solving the problems of tomorrow will require interdisciplinarity.

    silos are for the academy. specialization is for insects. chase the knowledge you want and your mind will connect the dots later.

    people will think you’re a warlock when you do.

  • daniyeg [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    you can do as my parents said “well you can become an engineer and continue humanities on the side”

    joking aside i know it’s a recipe for burnout but stick to your software engineering career. junior positions absolutely suck and maybe if you ride it out you’ll start to like it better, or develop strategies to at least deal with it in a healthy way.

    unfortunately there is no comparable pay in humanities and although job security is meaningless these days, your position will be extra precarious in humanities as half of your time will be spent justifying your existence to some shithead and you have to absolutely suck off people to keep your job whereas in SWE it’s at least desirable for the company to keep you around if they are not doing layoffs.

    and what if you risk it and as it turns out you don’t like a job in humanities after all? or that the field is interesting but all the things surrounding it is a total shit show? this happens a lot and academia is full of passionate people chewed out and checked out by the suffocating admin surrounding it.

    all im saying that it’s a huge gamble and personally i wouldn’t (and didn’t) take the risk. sometimes life is not about what’s rational but about what you are feeling so ultimately it’s your call.

  • huf [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    I like the problem solving aspect

    i think this is already pretty good, there’s a portion of your job you actually enjoy. anyway, any job you get will involve large amounts of what we call woodcutting. just boring shit that has to be done. if it were fun, they wouldnt have to pay someone to do it.

  • sewer_rat_420 [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    I don’t have much advice but can offer some solidarity as an ADHD comrade with a similar struggle. I was a few years into grad school for a Ph.D. in chemistry when I realized I don’t like it, and although I was good in classes for it in undergrad the grad school experience just required a different type of thinking and quick recall of vast amounts of information that I wasn’t even very good at. And I was never great in the lab anyway. I also realized I didn’t really fuck with most of the job opportunities that would be available. Pharma is a fucking shit industry to work in and the pay isn’t even that good for how much education is required. So I was losing motivation on account of my disdain for the field and for grad school in general, and when I got diagnosed with ADHD the meds sure helped but still, they couldn’t make me desire to stay in the lab for 12 hrs a day and they didn’t make it easy to write papers either.

    Then I failed my dissertation defense (fucking asshole old head committee members), I still have edits to add to my thesis so it is acceptable to them and no desire to do it. I’ve been stuck in this limbo over a year now.

    Finally though, I found a field of work that I should be able to get a job in very soon. Its wastewater management, which is chemistry adjacent and I am loving learning about it. The work itself and math is fairly basic to do - titrations and basic algebra. The employer for this job is a municipal water district, so its even got a pension. And the pay is lower than i could make in pharma, and the top end pay is lower than I would make if I stuck it out in pharma to be a department head, and there arent the potential stock options I could get with a career in pharma, but IDC, I despise that whole industry. They exploit bachelor educated scientists to work overtime and earn less than median salary, while those who stick it out get stock options, which are still just a fraction of the value the CEOs are making. All to manufacture a novel medication that normal people won’t be able to afford anyway.

    So I guess my advice would be to open your mind to things that are adjacent even if your education doesn’t perfectly apply. And also, don’t worry about not having the same passion as others. If you can go to work, get it done, aren’t working unpaid overtime and can collect a decent check then you are doing better than most. Try to find passions in your free time and use your free time to do some organizing and/or mutual aid. This will help your normal work feel more “worth it” even if the work itself is drudgery

    • Philosoraptor [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 days ago

      Then I failed my dissertation defense (fucking asshole old head committee members)

      That is appalling, and 100% on your advisor. You should never let someone do the defense unless it is basically a formality and you are completely certain they will pass. A good advisor will always tell you if you need to tighten things up well before you get to that point. Most people end up with some revisions, but letting someone defend and then not passing them is unconscionable. Really sorry that happened to you.

  • Owl [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    If you’re able to do the work, go home, and just completely forget about it and do something else, that’s a very cushy job. The people who get completely invested in CS projects get chewed up and discarded by the industry.

    • jurassicneil [any]@hexbear.netOP
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      4 days ago

      My boss/who is also my mentor expects me to upskill and upskill fast. As such I can’t forget about it when I get home. I need to put some extra time to handle the learning curve. I don’t mind it too much just that I feel if this field resonated with me more, I wouldn’t think of this as extra work but something I inherently enjoy doing. Which makes me feel that I’m missing out on having a fulfilling career/life in someway.

  • starkillerfish [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    careers are in those fields that would be comparable in terms of pay/growth to software engineering

    Yeah there are none. Especially if you compare entry level jobs. Maybe look into software engineering in places that are more socially aligned? Lots of NGOs and stuff like that always need IT people

  • woodenghost [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    I think instead of asking: “how can I best position myself in the labor market individually” we should ask: “how can I best position myself to contribute to collective labor power”. Actualize your individuality by joining the collective struggle of the 99% instead of generating profits for the 1%.

    It’s great, that you have an interest in social sciences and you could certainly try to turn that into a job. The fact, that you’re willing to let go of the privilege, that comes with the software field honors you. It means you’re not just after the money.

    But what if, instead of comodifying your passion to turn it into tiny cog in a profit machine for some capitalist, you find a way to use it to help some worthy cause? Maybe write articles about social issues to agitate fellow workers or use your interest in social science to figure out how an effort to unionize workers in your field could be successful. Or join an org, that could use your talents in some way.

    And there might be a worthy cause soon: As a software developer, you’re in a field with unusually high wages despite almost no unionization. That’s because it’s organic composition of capital leans towards variable capital. The tools of the trade are cheap. Like a skilled artesian, a software developer can just take their laptop and walk, if their wage is too low. An engineer in a car factory might be just as skilled, but can’t take the robots and assembly lines and walk out, their field has much more fixed capital. So labor in your field has high individual bargaining power, even without collective bargaining.

    But like almost every technical innovation ever, AI will shift the organic composition of capital towards fixed capital. This could lower the bargaining power of workers. That’s why they push it. For example, if huge server farms to drive closed source, centralized AI models become the norm, software engineers won’t be able to just take those with them and walk out as easily as before. On the other hand, small, cheap, specialized, easy to train, open source models (like China develops) might actually benefit labor power. It will be necessary to fight for democratic control over AI to decide whether it’s a blessing or a curse.

    So if you’re asking about how to position yourself in the labor market, I’d say, wether in the software field or in the humanities, try to find a place where collective labor power is strong and try to find the way you can best contribute to that power in your own unique way.

    Link to the comic

  • moondog [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    I’m much in the same boat, friend. I’m due to complete my master’s degree in CS in a bit over a month, and after 5 years of studying the subject I no longer have any real interest in it. I’m going to give working with it a solid try at least, but if I hate it I intend to become a firefighter instead.

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    How long have you been at this job?

    It may turn out that after switching to a different field, you encounter the same problem again where the work is not engaging or fulfilling (ubiquitous ADHD struggle), plus it pays less.

    So instead of jumping the gun, hang around to get a glimpse what all the career path might extend to. If you’re going to switch careers, it’s better to do this after several years and lots of accumulated savings than to preemptively call yourself burned out and close the CS career after less than 2 years.

    There are lots of people who long to be in the position that you’re in. If I were to estimate it, I would say that maybe 5% of jobs across the entire economy are personally gratifying jobs; the rest are all bullshit jobs or shitty jobs. It convincingly seems that the only good jobs are the ones that we carve out for ourselves.

    • Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee
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      4 days ago

      encounter the same problem again where the work is not engaging or fulfilling (ubiquitous ADHD struggle)

      Is this a well-known feature of ADHD? I’m not clued up about it at all.

      • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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        4 days ago

        It is very easy to end up thinking about alternatives that are more desirable than the current one. Everybody has the novelty-seeking inclination but people with ADHD have it worse.

        When I switched majors to something I was interested in and that didn’t involve writing papers, for a while it worked but then I ran into the same motivation problems. To this day I know I can’t work a job that involves being at a computer, and I’ve only had one job (out of 8+) that I’ve held for more than 2 years- and even then, it was part-time and I put at most 1.5 years of full-time equivalent into it. YMMV though.

            • Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee
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              2 days ago

              Sorry, I didn’t see that. Have you found your diagnosis to be helpful? I’m starting to suspect that I have ADHD as the more I hear about it the more it seems to describe things that I’ve struggled with.

              • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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                2 days ago

                Ehh. I’m not super compatible with this economy and I’ve made peace with that. My career is not a stack of acceptance from selective colleges and companies; my career is taking entry-level jobs to better understand the economy and then reverse-engineer some business plans.

                The only situations in which I haven’t felt depressed and underachieving have been staying on communes. And yet, compared to 10+ years ago, my life has looked less like “constantly trying and failing” and more like “constantly tripping and tumbling in the right direction”.

  • Sebrof [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    Had/have a similar problem. Didn’t get a job in academia in my field of study (despite years and degrees) because my heart wasn’t in my field (it was in the humanities like you) and have been stuck in boring data analysis jobs since. The pay also has not been keeping up with rising costs, so there’s this push to get higher paying tech jobs which I don’t feel qualified for. I know all the math ML and such, but I’ve got piss poor devOps skills. And most companies seems to want someone with data engineering knowledge which I don’t have. So now I feel a further push to learn all these skills that I have zero interest in just to stay on top of it all. And I was already burned out on this long ago.

    And going back to school seems unrealistic, and there aren’t many jobs that pay well in the humanities.

    Something thay has helped me, and may help you, is if your current job gives you free time then use it for your own passions. I feel like I’ve given up on having a meaningful job, so I’m just taking back as much time as I can.

    Since I have STEM skills I have been using them to learn the math in political economy and do some modeling in my own computer for it.

    So it is a niche little area that combines STEM with the humanities that I do in my free time. And it keeps me sane in some little ways.

    But alienated labor still sucks. There’s no way around it, but it sucks less on those days thay I have free time. Some weeks I’m constantly busy though and that’s where if gets bad. Like you, I hate this stuff lol.

    • Sebrof [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 days ago

      So, it may be possible to find some way to use your skillset and direct toward work or orgs that you care more about.

      It may have to be volunteer, or you may have to take a pay cut if working for a NGO. I hope it goes well. I feel your pain

        • Sebrof [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          3 days ago

          I hope things get better. I don’t know of a simple answer. And I also get that feeling of comparing yourself to others (like your mentor) who live and breath this stuff and it makes you feel like you don’t measure up- even when “logically” you know that it’s because of a difference in passion. But it still hurts because, at least for me, it makes me feel further incompetent or worthless and it makes me angry that they get to self actualize in some manner in that field.

          Maybe you don’t have that problem, but I have had it multiple times with my jobs. And even though I know I should feel that way, I still feel bad about myself when coworkers do so well in their jobs and seem to enjoy it while I just do what I can to get by because I have no passion whatsoever in my job. It makes no sense that I do the comparison, but it happens regardless. So if that happens with you, I definitely get it.

          Lol this past Friday my coworker and I were working overtime to finish up a report, and I had been pulling out my hair and at my wits end doing these mindless SQL queries and other nonsense trying to get the necessaey results, and by 7pm on a Friday I was just wanting to get it done with to start my weekend. But my coworker seemed to like if and enjoy it in some odd way. He even said that he “enjoys challenges like these”

          When that happens I’m just stunned. Debugging queries is this guy’s idea of a rewarding and stimulating challenge? Then wtf is wrong with me then lol. Good for him though lol.

          Also, another tangent. I just like to rant about work, really. For my company we had to take these “personality tests” for our jobs, and find what skills we liked or how we communicate, etc. Most coworkers got that their favorite skills were “analysis” and “science” (very scientific test we took), while my preferred skills were “music”.

          At first I thought it was because everyone else bullshitted the test to get brownie points, but when my coworkers saw my results they were simply stunned. “Music? What are you doing here then?” they asked (I wonder that myself every day). But it was weird. They were stunned thay somebody could have interests like “reading” and “music”. I thought it was just human. But some people either love this job or have convinced themselves that pulling amd compiling data is the end all be all of actualization. Maybe it’s cope, idk? But it does no good to compare oneself to them if it isn’t you. It’s okay to have interests that capitalism can’t exploit. It’s frustrating to not feel ones labor and passions as part of building something you care about, though.

          • jurassicneil [any]@hexbear.netOP
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            3 days ago

            When that happens I’m just stunned. Debugging queries is this guy’s idea of a rewarding and stimulating challenge? Then wtf is wrong with me then lol. Good for him though lol.

            Dude, this happens to me too with my boss. He’d assign me some project with a new tech/framework even he doesn’t fully understand. That would be my main task while he is busy running multiple teams and doing stuff assigned to him. A bit later I find this guy playing with the framework he had assigned me and his level of proficiency with it is already beyond mine even though I was solely focused on that while he was juggling god knows how many things. I get that its a difference in years of experience but also, this dude was just playing around with the framework cuz he was curious. He didn’t need to touch it at all, but he did it anyways. I would never think that way for computers. Other stuff yeah. Which brings me back to my original problem lol.

  • Blep [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 days ago

    Cash the cheques as the disillusionment slowly encroaches on every facet of your life and you burn out in 5-10 years.