Especially when you don’t have the hyperactivity part (used to be ADD, now it’s ADHD - inattentive type), this makes so much sense as to why I was just called lazy and sensitive as a kid and teenager. Getting diagnosed in my late 20s made so many things make sense in hindsight.
A better name for the syndrome would be Executive Function Disorder. Executive Function is the term used to describe the ability to exercise agency and rational judgement when making decisions. Disorders of executive function leave a person having difficulty not responding impulsively. This affects attention; what I decide to pay attention to, and how long I hold my attention there, and it also affects emotional expression, how well I maintain an even keel and exercise control over how strongly my emotions become and how they influence my behavior. In ADHD people have difficulty deciding where their attention will go and also tend to be more emotionally labile. Shame sensitivity is frequently reported.
My mother has a partially shame based operating system. She uses self shame as a motivational tool that increases her executive function, e.g. she manages to diet by responding to the part of her that tells her to eat chocolate with shame for wanting chocolate. She avoids the chocolate and goes on with her life.
She tried to install that same operating system in me. Due to my shame sensitivity it paralyzed me and left me unable to function. Instead I would spiral in shame and self hatred for my inability to do what she wanted me to do, even though I wanted to do it too.
My system actually works pretty well with love as motivation instead of shame. It just took me 15 years of intensive commitment to inner work to unravel the shame.
Especially when you don’t have the hyperactivity part (used to be ADD, now it’s ADHD - inattentive type), this makes so much sense as to why I was just called lazy and sensitive as a kid and teenager. Getting diagnosed in my late 20s made so many things make sense in hindsight.
Can you expand on the lazy and sensitive parts? :)
A better name for the syndrome would be Executive Function Disorder. Executive Function is the term used to describe the ability to exercise agency and rational judgement when making decisions. Disorders of executive function leave a person having difficulty not responding impulsively. This affects attention; what I decide to pay attention to, and how long I hold my attention there, and it also affects emotional expression, how well I maintain an even keel and exercise control over how strongly my emotions become and how they influence my behavior. In ADHD people have difficulty deciding where their attention will go and also tend to be more emotionally labile. Shame sensitivity is frequently reported.
Can you expand on “shame sensitivity”?
My mother has a partially shame based operating system. She uses self shame as a motivational tool that increases her executive function, e.g. she manages to diet by responding to the part of her that tells her to eat chocolate with shame for wanting chocolate. She avoids the chocolate and goes on with her life.
She tried to install that same operating system in me. Due to my shame sensitivity it paralyzed me and left me unable to function. Instead I would spiral in shame and self hatred for my inability to do what she wanted me to do, even though I wanted to do it too.
My system actually works pretty well with love as motivation instead of shame. It just took me 15 years of intensive commitment to inner work to unravel the shame.