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A book with the title "I didn’t touch the computer, it just stopped working And Other Hilarious Jokes you Can Tell Someone from the IT Department.
Not an IT, a friend onced told me their phone was getting hot and draining battery fast from last night. Naturally I asked if they installed any new apps or changed settings couple of times and the answer was clear no.
I checked the apps list and saw an obviously sus app (might be miner). I asked from when they had that app and they said ‘why? I installed it last night’.
That was the kind of app you get clicking ‘horny milves in your area’ ads.
I love that… …milves.
MILVES?
Man I Love Vaginas & Erectile Semen?
Hard to keep up with these acronyms these days…
😂🤣
My mom complained that her phone drains the battery from 100 to 20 in like 5 hours. I asked if she had installed something stupid, answer was obviously a no. Checked her apps and there was some gif keyboards and emoji keyboards and at least 3 different mirror apps and all kinds of garbage…
Story time: I’ve had my work laptop replaced three times in the past two years because of persistent crashes under load. We tried replacing a lot of stuff, uninstalled all kinds of software etc., nothing helped. Turns out they’d remotely installed some utility about five years ago that controls fan speeds. That has been installed on each new machine because it was in my profile. When I checked, I found out that this thing hadn’t been updated in three years and was likely not compatible with my current hardware. Uninstalled it, never had problems since. So yeah, that was fun. At least I got a new laptop out of it.
To be fair, on my work computer, 99% of my issues are related to botched updates running in the background without my knowledge, consent, or input.
Sketchy CMD scripts run in the background, all the fans spin up, then the drivers just randomly give up and bring the whole system down with it.
100% of the issues on my personal system are self inflicted.
I take responsibility for ~2% of the issues on my work system.
on my work computer, 99% of my issues are related to botched updates running in the background without my knowledge
I take responsibility for ~2% of the issues on my work system
Congrats on having 101% of your issues :)
98.5 rounds up to 99, 1.5 rounds up to 2%
Did you implement a change last night?
No.
Did you implement a change last night?
No.
Did you implement a change last night?
…Yes
You say that… but I’ve seen things stop working on their own all the time
If you poison somebody and they make it a couple miles down the road before Keeling over you still poisoned them
Can confirm, my home desktop more or less died while I was at work. I’d leave it running 24/7, as I had it set up as something of a simple server for a couple things, namely a remote desktop virtual machine.
So yeah, I didn’t touch it when it failed.
Cause: Bad capacitors and a failed chipset fan.
Just put in a ticket. SLA is 3 days, see you in 2 weeks, but only because your boss got involved. God I hate the IT department.
As someone working in the IT department, I can tell you a secret:
We can sense when someone doesn’t appreciate us and we let them wait longer on purpose 🙂
