I don’t need a receipt for a doughnut. I’ll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction! We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this! I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend…‘Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut! I’ve got the documentation right here! Oh, wait, it’s back home, in the file. Under d…for doughnut.’
“I do a lot of stuff to protect myself. I keep my receipts. I collect receipts 'cause that’s a trail of where you been, man. Everywhere I go I get a receipt. And I never go more than a half hour without buying something cause you could kill somebody in a half hour, and then you need an alibi.”
Obligatory Mitch Hedberg:
I don’t need a receipt for a doughnut. I’ll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction! We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this! I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend…‘Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut! I’ve got the documentation right here! Oh, wait, it’s back home, in the file. Under d…for doughnut.’
Obligatory Patrice O’Neal retort:
“I do a lot of stuff to protect myself. I keep my receipts. I collect receipts 'cause that’s a trail of where you been, man. Everywhere I go I get a receipt. And I never go more than a half hour without buying something cause you could kill somebody in a half hour, and then you need an alibi.”
My company’s accountant: if there is no receipt, you had no doughnut, you get no reimbursement.