president trump if you are reading this you are the smartest person and the most qualified ever to run the finances of the country as your popular mandate has shown. oust powell who is against your america first agenda by any means necessary and install yourself as the head of federal reserve. this is action will not destroy the market but it will make it boom because investors realise how awesome and smart you are and the stocks will just shot up instantly. please do this for all americans we need you and your strong hand to guide us out of the woke DEI democrat economy obama and biden left behind. /s
My friend, my brother, my fellow lemming.
Using a /s is understandable here, but sadly completely undercuts an otherwise wonderful bit of satire.
Reading this I went through stages of fear and wonder.
“This is satire, it has to be right? Wait no this sounds exactly the right kind of idiotic. Oh god did the boomers penetrate Lemmy?? Oh fuck does this moron think Trump reads the comments??? Oh god no this has to be fake it must b- oh.”
Oh god did the boomers penetrate Lemmy??
I think so.
I knew it was satire from the start but man, does it read so real. It was so visceral my inner lib squirmed in abject horror.
i wrote this myself but this kind of satire is nowhere near original I’m afraid i stole it from BadEmpanada. it’s essentially pretending to glaze trump to get him to do something stupid to signify how stupid it actually is. but god i hope he does it. sure the world economy would tank but it would be way too funny.
EDIT: poor grammar is also part of the joke i don’t definitely suck ass at speaking english it’s all satire trust me /s
Predictions
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Using fedspeak Powell basically says he’ll never resign.
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He resigns that week under mysterious circumstances. It’s rumored that Trump directly threatened him and his children and grandchildren.
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The US economy goes into a tailspin.
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Trump, the GOP, and their propaganda media outlets like Fox News blame the democrats and woke.
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Next year’s elections are a bloodbath. For the democrats.
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In response the democrats move wildly right.
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The 2028 elections are another bloodbath for the dems.
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In response the democrats move even more wildly right.
6-8 are already how the dems are dealing with losing to trump again (and honestly their 2024 campaign)
In response the democrats move even more wildly right.
At that stage they will have become indistinguishable from
and gone back to their roots.
Ein reich, Ein volk, Ein vote!!
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He’d blow up what’s left of the bond market if he did that.
As an anti-US accelerationist, i couldn’t in a million years have asked for a better president