It’s kinda crazy for me to think about. Story time! Otherwise just ask me anything :)
Around 11 years ago, I sat in the lounge that the Video Game Club occupies once a month on college campus. I looked over and saw a group of gamers go into one of the meeting rooms attached to the lounge - but instead of laptops or gaming consoles, they had books and dice and paper. I scoffed and thought they were too nerdy and cringey - I then went back to munching Doritos, chugging MtDew, and playing Borderlands/Skyrim/Pokemon for the next 12 hours lol.
Thankfully I was saved from my misguided views. A member of the VGC invited me to try out DnD, his group had an open spot. I was hesitant, but I craved more creativity in games that just couldn’t be supplied. So I decided to try it out.
Ended up not having a great time. One player was entirely checked out for 80% of the time and was a scumbag during the 20% he was engaged. The DM either was very new, or just had some very questionable calls. There were of course some fun moments but not a great impression.
I knew the game had potential. And I knew I could run it better.
So 10yrs ago today, my Players Handbook arrived, which is when I really began my journey to learning the rules, how to make characters, and how to run the game.
I’ve since had a few successfully completed long term games, including one that was over 5 years. I’ve ran a game at a convention, I’ve done some paid birthday parties, in person and online long campaigns, even some very successful afterschool programs while I was a teacher for a few years.
At my peak, I was running 4 games weekly. Since then I’ve slowed down a bit more and focus on two good weekly games.
Willing to share tips or stories for any who ask :) otherwise I just wanted to share this milestone.
I’m looking for new hobbies, but I’m in s life phase where time, energy and ability to learn things and cope with frustration and bad vibes is very short.
Is DnD a good idea in my case?
Yes and no.
Yes - if you can find a good group with good vibes, it’s some of the best. Laughing with friends about dice rolls and the ridiculous shenanigans they result in.
No - if you don’t do well learning rules equivalent to a boardgame. You do need to learn some rules to play, but it’s not a ton, and you can try to find good DMs who cater to new players. BUT again if you get frustrated by bad luck, learning rules, etc then maybe not.
Maybe - try watching a let’s play? Critical Role or similar. Keep in mind your average game isn’t professional, but this can at least show you relatively what to expect with the amount of rules and stuff.
What happened after you got your players handbook? Did you start your own group?
I DMed for my fiancés family on an RV road trip first. It was fun and casual, just two or three times.
Then that summer I started a camp game. I had a satchel that perfectly fit my notebook and PHB, so during staff training I walked around recruiting staff to play. I intended to have 4-5 players and ended up with 35 interested. We did have that much the first session - everyone just had their own goblin to fight lol and they decided action with “council vote” lol. But after 2-3 sessions the numbers dropped off, as most were just there to try it and obviously it wasn’t true DnD. But most also weren’t able to, they had duties, but us support staff could play on our nights free.
I also DMed a game online, then some after school programs, and then I finally started my first home game. It was my first “serious” campaign.
Since you have experience DMing games for different ages than yours (or I expect that’s the case since you talk of birthdays and after school programs), what would be your advice to lead a game with kids that you think it’s different from just a bunch of friends playing specially if they are old enough that no theme is out of bounds.
Like I mention in some other comment, I want to start a game and DM both my kids and my wife using the Adventure Time RPG books based on 5E. My biggest issue is that both kids are quite far apart in age, 4 and 8 and I’m inexperienced being a DM so handling both and making the game fun for all feels like a daunting experience. So as an extra question, have you ever been the DM of a game where players had meaningful difference in age?
Yeah I have done a few short campaigns for kids. In general my advice is lowing your expectations and simplifying the game. And of course, making sure the themes don’t get too dark.
- With a 5 or under, you’ll want to keep things to just simple choices and results, less character sheets and specific skills.
- In similar vain, they aren’t playing 5e Tiefling Sorcerer with all the specific features and spells. They’re wizard or they’re knight or they’re princess warrior or whatever they decide to be. I mean you can try doing actual sheets, but I feel like kids that young won’t do well with it
- Unsure on dice, but if you’re worried about them you could get large novelty foam dice, it would be fun
- Game systems can be visually displayed for the kids. Money is candy pieces or cereal or something. Health are toothpicks (colored red for extra effect) that they break when lost.
- Obviously, don’t describe the details of violence. Keep it Marvel, they “beat them up”. There aren’t blood altars and nightmarish monsters.
- If you’re going to play with character sheets, make custom ones with very easy to find abilities and features. And don’t bother with ribbon/fluff abilities like Dwarven stonecunning.
Now, if the kids were a bit older (12-8) then you could use character sheets and add a bit more of the details back. But again, there will still be things to keep in mind.
- Most kids don’t do great at actually roleplaying as a character they created. Some might struggle with making the character. If it’s easier to just pick a character from a piece of media (“I wanna be Thor!”) that works. Often it’s fine that kids just insert themselves - their characters are them.
- Beware the self insert - when kids experience loss, it can be rough, depending on the kid. Some are real champs and it rolls right off of them, they understand it’s part of the game. But others, character death isn’t something they can handle. Try to gauge which type your kids are, and don’t be afraid to lean the dice in their favor now and then.
- Have a safety net. Maybe they’ve got an experienced retired veteran with them. They can’t normally fight because they’re old and retired, but if a fight goes bad maybe they spring into action! Key is to focus on helping the players, not taking the spotlight. But I’ve found overall that kids like having a cool older/veteran character around. Or maybe, they safety net is like a revival necklace that gives them 3 lives - it’ll feel a bit videogamey but Jumanji-like movies are popular for a reason
Finally, yes kinda. While working at a coding center for kids (learn to code and play videogames) I ran a weekend DnD club program, and we had a range of 7 to 13. I used some of the strategies above, though I did use real character sheets with them that we color coded.
Success with age gap relies on the two kids understanding and accepting that things will be uneven but that’s okay. Not something you always need to ask them, some kids and especially siblings do well naturally at just enjoying the game itself.
Sorry that’s a lot! I used to be a camp counselor and teacher so DnD with kids is right up my alley
what do you think is the best way for someone who hasn’t played (but watched d20 and cr) to get involved if there’s no d&d in close social circles?
The Discord of Many Things has a LFG channel!
What was the worst most unlikely death you’ve seen as a dm
That’s an interesting question lol.
So one that really shocked the table was when the party tiefling cleric Hymnal died. The party was mid-high level and deep in a cult stronghold. They needed to enter the core chamber, but did not have a direct route; it was ride a water flume to an unknown end in the hopes it leads there, or go through a long cave system dungeon. They chose the dungeon.
Found an optional obstacle, a monolith with a circle of dust around it. Long story short, the goal is they need to have teleportation, good jumping, or high speed to get there. Then, there’s a check to hold on.
Hymnal attempted, got to the top, but fell off. She landed with “that wasn’t so ba-“ ZAP, disintegrated.
Jaws dropped, tears were shed, and it really changed the campaign - they realized death is actually a risk. It was our first major death for the campaign
How do you go on from a player death? Is there in general some trick to balancing the need for risk-taking to be punishing without destroying the fun?
If a player character dies, I try to make sure it is meaningful in the moment. They get their last words or their dramatic fall to the ground, and depending on the character, they might receive some vision based on their god or whatever.
Moving on past it, usually the player whose character died chills for the moment. Assuming the party has no way of reviving them at the moment, there is usually an in-game discussion on if reviving them is even an option. Out of game we might also talk briefly about if the player wants a new character, or if they want to be revived.
Assuming the revival can’t happen that session, I’ll have the player make a new character and I’ll make sure they are introduced within the first hour of the next session. I hate, hate, hate nothing more as a player than having a session where I literally sit out waiting to be introduced (happened to me twice) for hours IRL.
The only really hard part is if that character had important backstory stuff tied to the big main stuff going on. Just need to be creative, find a way that the plot can still move forward. Or, perhaps it changes the direction the campaign goes - never be afraid to toss your plans out the window.
As for balancing things, it’s truly a trick. I would start softer and ramp it up. The most important piece is learning what your party is currently capable of, and how much punishment they can take before they would break. But never forget three things.
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Action economy is king. The more actions one side can take, the sooner they can win. Remember that if one player falls, it not only means that player is down, it means the rest of the party must now fight even harder AND use action economy to perhaps heal/save them or at least protect them from further harm.
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The dice can truly be a blessing or a bane (hah). You can handcraft a “perfectly balanced” encounter but the dice will force a different story. Even just the initiative roll can decide combat: once I was a player, around lvl 10 or 12 or so. We got ambushed at night by a fire giant. Rolled initiative, fire giant went last, with me just before. Everyone hammered into it, and then I finished it off with Disintegrate. It didn’t even get a chance to move lol. On the flip side, I’ve seen easy encounters become practically deadly because of bad dice rolls.
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(Super illegal tip, keep this on the hush) You can adjust encounters on the fly. You can change the monsters HP. You can add more monsters in or take them away. You can fudge a roll and say the bugbear trips. You can give the TRex the ability to teleport. You should not get in the habit of doing this - if you are adjusting on the fly, it implies that you are controlling the encounter to go how you want it to go, which means removing player agency. Bad. BUT if you’re a new DM and you accidentally make an encounter WAY TOO easy/hard, this is your secret weapon. Key tip with this: once info is known, don’t change it, unless there’s a reason. So if your players attack a Wyvern and a 15 hits, then a 15 should be a hit every time, unless maybe thematically that hit ruined/removed its scales and so you lower the AC.
Sorry that’s a lot lol
Man this all is amazing. I have never DM’d but I want to start soonish. Long ago I grabbed the pathfinder book and the master guide to start some group locally, but that never actually happened (got kids, no time or energy left for much (: ).
Now kids are growing up and I would want to make a small game with them and my wife to teach them about RPGs. Waiting to get the adventure time RPG from kickstarter based on 5E to make the game with them. All your comments are amazing to read and prepare mentally :)
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