• sweetgemberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    8·
    1 day ago

    Very true. While my partner does do chores, it is seen that way by some of my family. He is “helping” me. No, he’s doing his part of the chores that we both agreed to how it would be divided up. But no it’s seen as polite of him to “help” me.

    He is good for it but I feel that the fact that I have to say that is evidence of the problem. I don’t think the same would be said of me because it’s expected.

  • Sombyr@lemmy.zipEnglish
    161·
    2 days ago

    Weird how men helping with house work are praised for it, yet women helping with providing and finances is somehow an affront to nature to some people.

  • grysbok@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    13·
    2 days ago

    I’m stuck on how the irons are different. That feels like an odd choice and I’m not sure if it’s a meaningful one. Also, why is the modern man’s ironing board so much longer?

  • Nakoichi [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    2·
    1 day ago

    The USSR was probably the best place for women. There was better division of labor, the stem fields were way more represented by women than anywhere in the west today. To the point that even today in the RF there is still nearly 50/50 gender representation in scientific fields.

    Also:

    https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/kristenghodsee/files/why_women_have_better_sex_under_socialis.pdf

    https://libcom.org/article/caliban-and-witch-silvia-federici

    I really recommend both of these especially Caliban and the Witch.

    • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alMEnglish
      111·
      2 days ago

      I’m not sure if you are understanding the meme or not … the meme is pointing out a double-standard, that when men do “women’s work” like ironing, they are perceived as going above and beyond and doing something praise-worthy, while women are expected to do the very same work by default (i.e. it’s not exceptional or praise-worthy for women to iron clothes or other “women’s work” because it’s just expected of them).

      This is a double-standard. Pointing out a sexist double-standard isn’t misandry.

        • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alMEnglish
          82·
          2 days ago

          I’m confused, are you saying you receive no praise for your housework within your family and from your wife, or are you denying that in society broadly you would receive praise and that it’s entirely normal and expected that men do housework and that they wouldn’t be seen as exceptionally good for doing housework?

          If the meme were reversed it wouldn’t make sense, since housework is considered women’s work and since women are by default expected to do housework they wouldn’t be praised for it.

          Can you explain to me how the meme stereotypes men?

          Maybe you think the meme is actually asserting the sexist double standard, and is declaring that women should be expected to do housework and men should not be expected to do housework? (Rather than how I and others understand the meme as criticizing that double standard as sexist.)

          Also, it’s surprising to me that you start off with “ban me” energy, and then apologize for intruding into a women’s only space - thanks for being human, that’s awesome! 💕

            • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alMEnglish
              3·
              2 days ago

              This is pretty interesting, maybe a good example at how patriarchy victimizes men as well as women. Here you are, a man proud of his housework and who is offended at the notion that men wouldn’t be expected to engage in housework - but in a surreal twist, you’re arguing with the women who are offended by the same exact thing.

              Also, I don’t know where you live, but in most of the Western world (and probably this is worse elsewhere) I think there is an expectation (even though it is sometimes implicit) that women belong in the kitchen doing housework and so on, and that men should be at work. Those attitudes are changing, but there is still a sense that men who do women’s work are virtuous for being so egalitarian and progressive.

              This can also come up with dads, e.g. a dad is in a grocery store with his kids and people might tell him “oh, aren’t you such an amazing father”, but it would be unusual for someone to say the same thing to a woman with her kids in the grocery store. There’s just a thought that men are exceptional if they do women’s work.

              That housework is not perceived as women’s work and men aren’t seen as exceptional for doing women’s work where you live seems unlikely or unusual to me (where in the world would this be true, Iceland maybe?) - but I’m not going to deny your experience, and I’m wrong all the time.

              Still, I don’t think I’m wrong about the majority of places and societies in this case, and the meme still stands in those contexts (even if it might not in yours).

              Hopefully this helps clarify?