You know that thing people did where they look you up and down, then sneer?

That’s punchable in my book.

Like, yeah dude, I’m that hairy, and yes I have a hail satan shirt on, but go fuck yourself if you don’t like it. Which is communicated with simple gesture in return to the sneer. Only takes lifting a single finger

I used to travel all over Europe for work, one day I arrived in Munich where the passport control officer asked if I was there for Oktoberfest. I explained I don’t drink and I was just there for work.

He looked me up and down, tilted his head a little and said “Really? You, Don’t drink?

I’m a big guy, not fat fat, but big. I was so annoyed with suggestion that I must like my beer because of my stature, I stewed about it in the taxi all the way to my hotel until I caught myself in the mirror of the hotel room, where I realised I was wearing a Guinness shirt I picked up in Dublin the previous week.