I love deeply online pseudohistory. I understand perfectly how awful it can be and that it is objectively bad for the public and for professional historians and archeologists just trying to do their job but holy shit is it so funny. Real history is something I am deeply passionate about, especially the history of antiquity so you’d think I hated this stuff and to some extent I do but on the other hand… the shit they come up with is so entertaining. They are so horrifically wrong that it can be belly laugh inducing. Please keep searching for atlantis, its been 3000 years but you, mr youtube man, it will be you, the chosen one, who will find it for sure. Yes, the world globalist cabal IS hiding antlantis from us, keep searching I am begging you. The Free Masons ARE coming for you if you find it though, it is so over. Admittedly, the eye of rhe sahara is a really neat geological feature.
Thanks, Joe Rogan. Thanks, Plato
While I enjoy pseudo-archaeology as slop, I hate the “ancient aliens” shit in particular. They actually allege that the pyramids were built by aliens instead of being an accident. It robs Ancient Egyptians of their autonomy and experience, witnessing the accidental construction and having to make sense with all the new stressors that must have introduced to their society. To even claim that aliens built them, the grifters would have to first prove the existence of aliens and they don’t do that.
They do this with any non-white culture with large megastructures, especially indigenous Americans. It literally boils down to “brown people couldn’t possibly have done this” 99% of the time
Meanwhile, the whitest of white people built Stonehenge, which is something a sufficiently-sized toddler could have done.
Once I noticed the low-key racist vibes of only choosing things made by non-European cultures as made by aliens I’ve hated it, too.
Imagine being a Chinese person, accidentally building a wall too long, and being told you couldn’t possibly do that because Europeans accidentally enclosed Constantinople in walls even though it’s a city that needs to grow.
In a similar realm, my partner watches Ghost Adventures. There was an episode this or last season where they went to the site of a flood and talked to relatives of the dead, some survivors, and it was about them trying to talk to the ghosts of the flood victims. Most of the time, the ghost shit is just silly nonsense that doesn’t hurt anybody, but that was the first one I saw that made me go “wtf” and realize how far they’re willing to go to exploit people.
It robs Ancient Egyptians of their autonomy and experience, witnessing the accidental construction and having to make sense with all the new stressors that must have introduced to their society. To even claim that aliens built them, the grifters would have to first prove the existence of aliens and they don’t do that.
Not only that, but it feels like they replaced aryans with aliens in order to get to that conclusion. It’s just that belittling to the locals.
Very much so. There’s an undercurrent of white supremacy where only Europeans, creators of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and similar malformed structures, could accidentally build a pyramid.
Clearly they were just moving some rocks around randomly and a pyramid emerged
I live in the 21st century, I have a graphing calculator and computer and autocad, I’ve studied 3000 years of mathematics they didn’t have. It would be hard for me to make any kind of building. Whatever they were trying to build, it came out looking like that and I couldn’t do much better. Good effort but I can see why the only similar structure we’ve built since was a Bass Pro Shop. It doesn’t work as a design.
I actually don’t think it’s as prejudiced as people claim. The actual theory is that the ancient megalithic structures around the world (including the few built by white Europeans, such as Stonehenge) were built by humans using advanced, now-lost technology passed down to them by a visiting off-world civilization. Most people are surprised to learn that Carl Sagan entertained similar ideas (before he got compromised, allegedly[1]):
The statistics presented earlier in this paper suggest that the Earth has been visited by various galactic civilizations many times (possibly ~104) during geological time. It is not out of the question that artifacts of these visits still exist —Carl Sagan[2]
I’ve been meaning to read this sometime: https://annas-archive.org/md5/3ed2ff3e6089f7c5607a58bf31265d5d ↩︎
https://ntrs.nasa.gov/api/citations/19630011050/downloads/19630011050.pdf ↩︎
Consider what it would take to build and fly a spaceship to earth. Extremely advanced metallurgy, physics, mathematics- it would be a crowning achievement for our species a century from now if we became competent enough to actually visit another world. One that surpasses our greatest skyscrapers and aircraft so much that they would look like apes using rock tools. You honestly believe a civilisation like that, so far beyond our comprehension that they probably see us as insects, could fly alllllllllllllllllll the way here and fuck up a building that badly?
Fuck up which building?
I think humans built them (and so does Giorgio Tsoukalos for that matter).
The pyramids. I think humans built them too, I just think it was Egyptians who made an honest mistake.
Not their fault they built it upside down
Woulda looked nice as a cube. That’s all I’m sayin’. You can fit a LOT more treasure in a cube.
every scientist loves cranks in a similar manner. it’s really entertaining to see what they’ve cooked up. terryology is a gem for example
Try working in tech
If you just threaten to call the IT guy the thing will start working again
The number of computer problems I have fixed by standing there watching while they try it again
I just tell people the computers are scared of me (really it’s just Windows being unreliable garbage)
Windows is indeed unreliable garbage, but I’ve experienced this across Windows, Mac OS 9 and 10, Android, and iOS. My theory is that they slow down and take a little more care when I’m standing there watching.
I wish they’d switch jobs with hack fantasy writers. Don’t give me orcs and elves again, give me whatever the Spirit Science guy is cooking.
A lot of that stuff is appealing to people who fall for it because it is fun. It’s exciting and interesting in a way their teachers failed to convey real history is as well.
I’d find these guys funnier if they weren’t an active symptom of severe anti-intellectualism and brainrot under late capitalism. Also if they didn’t always end up going back to accusing the Jews of “hiding the truth” eventually.
Like Grand Tartaria! That’s my bag, it’s hilarious, dude finds an old map with the name on it, but can’t find it on a google search, couldn’t be just that old mapmakers didn’t know what was there, it must be a secret ancient empire from the 1700s. They go all out, including saying that Early Modern period star forts were literally built by giants despite us having the actual physical blueprints of some of them and the records of the engineers who built them. Again, it would all be hilarious, if it wasn’t so sad and harmful.
Also the space is full of con artists and grifters, forgot about that, that’s another reason why I can’t stand this shit.
Like Grand Tartaria! That’s my bag, it’s hilarious, dude finds an old map with the name on it, but can’t find it on a google search, couldn’t be just that old mapmakers didn’t know what was there, it must be a secret ancient empire from the 1700s. They go all out, including saying that Early Modern period star forts were literally built by giants despite us having the actual physical blueprints of some of them and the records of the engineers who built them. Again, it would all be hilarious, if it wasn’t so sad and harmful.
i just learned about this one the other day, and it’s so hilarious.
your regular old classic pseudohistory talks about how really ancient things like pyramids and ziggurats and stone tablets all come from the same really really ancient civilization that was wiped out in a flood or something a hundred thousand years ago. provably wrong, but less ridiculous, since everything is so ancient and some of the missing steps have been lost, and ancient civilizations across the planet had some similarities.
Tartaria however picks things at random throughout history, including very recent things, and with no connecting features. anything older than you or me is a potential target. only people with absolutely no idea about history would believe any of it. like, pavillions built for the world’s fair in 1900-something somewhere in a US city, and a cathedral from 1700-something in a european capital, and the macchu picchu, and maybe the forbidden palace in beijing why not, were all actually built by an antediluvian supercivilization one million years ago. stuff with nothing in common, stuff in the middle of modern cities or in the middle of nowhere. fucking amazing.
I especially like when they look at an old cathedral or town hall or something and go like “Why would a building have such a big door? Because it was for a Real Big Guy! That’s right, the Tartarians were also giants!”
And yeah, they love saying that “Grand Tartaria” was an ancient empire from anywhere from the 1700s (when the term appeared on maps) to like, a million years ago, just because. And “their” buildings survived in perfect condition but weren’t mentioned or used by anyone until the time the quote unquote “official story” says that people actually built them. Because…reasons.
It’s just so completely off base from even the most basic understanding of anything that it would be hilarious if it wasn’t actually taken seriously by some very sad and angry people. And unfortunately I have seen it linked back to antisemitism. Blaming the Jews for why their terrible historical fanfiction makes no sense seems to be an inevitability of all these alt history things.
I looooove plateaus and mesas being gigantic fosilised tree trunks… fuck take me back man
This is also my favourite genre
The world tree from Berserk?!
Atlantis as an old city that got wiped out, but it was just a normal place is like well within believability for me, sure whatever. But faking the moon landing, that shit is so debunked once the soviets get involved and come out and say “yeah they beat us to the moon”, like they would have zero reason to back up the lie. Unless…it was…da jooz!!
Love Mudfossil University.
Footage of a weathered old hand pointing a feather at a grainy image of some rock a nordic oaf found on the shore and a hushed whispery voice telling you to check out this cool toe bone of a dragon whose back forms the nearby mountain range, tastefully interspersed with crank tirades about the [removed for ableism] in academia.
The central tenet of the mudfossil hypothesis is that many rocks, mountains, and geological formations are not the result of conventional geological processes but are the petrified remains of once-living giants, dragons, or other massive creatures. Proponents of this idea claim that these resemblances are evidence of rapid, large-scale “mud fossilization” events.
Oh yeah boi that’s the good crank shit.
It’s it only awful, if it’s used with nefarious purpose? Intentionally or not. You can engage with it, knowing it’s fake and still have a good time, without lying to anyone.
Like a roleplaying game. People have fun playing D&D, even though they know they are only roleplaying. Technically it’s like a whole alternative world.
The problem is chuds will do this in the material world, treating it like a fantasy world, and that is when it becomes extremely dangerous.
