I know this is a joke, but I really dislike these negative characterizations of adulthood, especially because they seem to just suggest that we should be complacent with this kind of dissatisfaction and discomfort as if it’s a intrinsic part of aging. I mean sure, maybe by the time you’re 70 a lot of this is unavoidable, but that’s far past being an adult. I often hear young people half-jokingly say that they may as well die by the time they turn 30. Interestingly, the same 30 to 50-year-olds who love to complain about teenagers dreading getting older are the same people who make them dread it by complaining about it. None of this stuff is really necessary to getting older, and again, I do understand that this is partially a joke, but I don’t know…
This isn’t being an adult. This is just taking bad care of yourself, physically and mentally. If you’ve always taken bad care of yourself, then it’ll start to pile up by the time you’re an adult. If you’ve always taken good care of yourself, that’ll also start to pile up by the time you’re an adult.
I mean, a lot of these aren’t negative in the “man, adulthood sucks” sense.
As you get older, your metabolism changes and you do gain weight faster. It takes a little longer to heal from things and little aches and pains linger a bit longer. You probably mature a bit so you’re actually doing and paying attention to those chores you ignored when younger. Yeah, it’s more chores but your shit is actually good now. College kids do look like high schoolers, mostly because they’re practically just out of highschool.
The spatula thing is just objectively true and I can’t think of a way to see it as a bad thing.
They can largely be true while it remains true that the majority of people are notably happier as they get older. “As you age your tastes change and you learn how to make what you want happen” just doesn’t sound as funny as listing some common changes.
Hard disagree on the annoyed part though. I see a lot more irritated 20 year olds. Usually because they messed up, don’t know they messed up, don’t know how to handle messing up and no one is interested in dealing with their shit.
1000%. I’m currently ending an 8½ year relationship over this: When we met we were both depressed, both bought into this mindset that we were pairing up for an eternal winter. As we’ve transitioned to our mid thirties, I got help and got back up, while they didn’t. And as much as you want to be there for someone, you can’t make someone change when they don’t want to. But this mindset is infectious, and it ruins lives.
I don’t know how you managed to pull yourself out of that funk with that kind of partner. Being constantly exposed to that kind of negativity makes it infinitely harder. Kudos.
I mean realistically I wanted to change. And despite our issues, they were extremely supportive, even if they didn’t want to change, too. Then I started getting frustrated when they didn’t, or expected me to be who I was; then we started fighting, then I started changing without them, and slowly the relationship crumbled. It’s like I grew too big for a box: Slowly I pressed against the walls, started breaking them, and now I just don’t fit anymore. And like, this isn’t a value judgement of them: They don’t want a depressed partner, they want a homebody partner, and I was that at one point. But I can’t be anymore, not just because it’s not me anymore, but also because trying hurts. Trying isn’t just changing myself, it’s reliving all the reasons I was a homebody.
Good on you for having an empathetic understanding of the situation - for yourself and for them. I can tell you really did grow a lot. Good on ya! Keep up the growth
I think there’s a specific transition period that adults that didn’t have good habits go through. And it takes time for them to learn how to take care of their adult mind and body.
The unhealthy habits (drinking, eating badly, not sleeping enough, being stationary etc.) are not as easily recoverable anymore, but people are still pushing themselves thinking they have the same vitality. Then it leads to the “everything sucks now” mentality. Give people some time to figure it out.
Like the transition period between summer and fall, everyone’s a bit confused for a bit on what to wear to keep themselves warm.
While I agree broadly with what you are saying, your comment ignores the externalities that society puts upon people that causes a lot of these feelings/habits/behaviours.
We still should do our best to not be this defeated. We should absolutely do our best to take care of ourselves mentally and physically, but for many this is far easier said than done because of the externalities.
I know this is a joke, but I really dislike these negative characterizations of adulthood, especially because they seem to just suggest that we should be complacent with this kind of dissatisfaction and discomfort as if it’s a intrinsic part of aging. I mean sure, maybe by the time you’re 70 a lot of this is unavoidable, but that’s far past being an adult. I often hear young people half-jokingly say that they may as well die by the time they turn 30. Interestingly, the same 30 to 50-year-olds who love to complain about teenagers dreading getting older are the same people who make them dread it by complaining about it. None of this stuff is really necessary to getting older, and again, I do understand that this is partially a joke, but I don’t know…
This isn’t being an adult. This is just taking bad care of yourself, physically and mentally. If you’ve always taken bad care of yourself, then it’ll start to pile up by the time you’re an adult. If you’ve always taken good care of yourself, that’ll also start to pile up by the time you’re an adult.
I mean, a lot of these aren’t negative in the “man, adulthood sucks” sense.
As you get older, your metabolism changes and you do gain weight faster. It takes a little longer to heal from things and little aches and pains linger a bit longer. You probably mature a bit so you’re actually doing and paying attention to those chores you ignored when younger. Yeah, it’s more chores but your shit is actually good now. College kids do look like high schoolers, mostly because they’re practically just out of highschool.
The spatula thing is just objectively true and I can’t think of a way to see it as a bad thing.
They can largely be true while it remains true that the majority of people are notably happier as they get older. “As you age your tastes change and you learn how to make what you want happen” just doesn’t sound as funny as listing some common changes.
Hard disagree on the annoyed part though. I see a lot more irritated 20 year olds. Usually because they messed up, don’t know they messed up, don’t know how to handle messing up and no one is interested in dealing with their shit.
1000%. I’m currently ending an 8½ year relationship over this: When we met we were both depressed, both bought into this mindset that we were pairing up for an eternal winter. As we’ve transitioned to our mid thirties, I got help and got back up, while they didn’t. And as much as you want to be there for someone, you can’t make someone change when they don’t want to. But this mindset is infectious, and it ruins lives.
I don’t know how you managed to pull yourself out of that funk with that kind of partner. Being constantly exposed to that kind of negativity makes it infinitely harder. Kudos.
I mean realistically I wanted to change. And despite our issues, they were extremely supportive, even if they didn’t want to change, too. Then I started getting frustrated when they didn’t, or expected me to be who I was; then we started fighting, then I started changing without them, and slowly the relationship crumbled. It’s like I grew too big for a box: Slowly I pressed against the walls, started breaking them, and now I just don’t fit anymore. And like, this isn’t a value judgement of them: They don’t want a depressed partner, they want a homebody partner, and I was that at one point. But I can’t be anymore, not just because it’s not me anymore, but also because trying hurts. Trying isn’t just changing myself, it’s reliving all the reasons I was a homebody.
Good on you for having an empathetic understanding of the situation - for yourself and for them. I can tell you really did grow a lot. Good on ya! Keep up the growth
I think there’s a specific transition period that adults that didn’t have good habits go through. And it takes time for them to learn how to take care of their adult mind and body.
The unhealthy habits (drinking, eating badly, not sleeping enough, being stationary etc.) are not as easily recoverable anymore, but people are still pushing themselves thinking they have the same vitality. Then it leads to the “everything sucks now” mentality. Give people some time to figure it out.
Like the transition period between summer and fall, everyone’s a bit confused for a bit on what to wear to keep themselves warm.
While I agree broadly with what you are saying, your comment ignores the externalities that society puts upon people that causes a lot of these feelings/habits/behaviours.
We still should do our best to not be this defeated. We should absolutely do our best to take care of ourselves mentally and physically, but for many this is far easier said than done because of the externalities.