Bert: I want a divorce

I like to smuggle linguistics monologues into any conversation by hiding them in a regional accent or foreign language Trojan horse.

We got tired of hiding our powerful haunches

Keep your eye out for buckets. The first one I acquired must have fallen out of a pickup that turned too quickly. I was super self-conscious when I pulled over to pick it up

OH YEAH, I even had time to call my mother, brother!

Oh nice! They were $10 for 3. I wasn’t sure if that was actually a good deal. They say “Certified by NSF to Standard #2”

I accidentally started a pottery hobby. It began with digging out some garden beds then one thing led to another and now I need a bunch of water to let the natural clay separate from the debris

It was $10 for a 3 pack. Something tells me this is actually a shit price but I can’t imagine needing more than this.

Nava-who? What kind of Mexican is that? /s

Um akshually, Christmas was being celebrated a century before then but didn’t have a set date yet. There’s a good chance both holidays picked the 25th because it’s the winter solstice and everyone was into astrology back then.

Hopefully I don’t get attacked like the last time I mentioned this. Also, a lot of the other “pagan” traditions in Christmas, like the yule log, showed up centuries after Norse paganism died out, which was a completely different religious tradition from Roman paganism.

If you want criticize early Christianity just point out how the gospels were written a generation after all the eyewitnesses died and that a bunch of other books didn’t make the final cut of the bible, e.g. gospel of Thomas.

So much space for activities!

Weird, I didn’t know people pronounced it dye-cals /s

Before the election I applied for software jobs at the IRS hoping to work on this. This country blows.

We talked about woodworking in our one on one meetings instead of my “career goals”

Due to anti-DEI policies the agency is now called All Land Management

This is the fart side shat

I create tech demos to trick venture capitalists into paying my boss to keep this farce going

Nick Mullen ruined Jeff Goldblum for me.

“Uh, have you, uh, tried putting the ring…uh, putting the ring in your ass?”

Crows can use tools and won’t need vehicles to travel. Dolphins don’t stand a chance.

Peak Backpfeifengesicht