Country singer and convicted felon Brace Beldon found dead by Vatican Swiss Guard after shooting the embattled tech ceo for “attempting to give the pope a second round of double pneumonia”. Swiss Guard say they opened fire on the controversial professor after he stated his intent to travel to Rome

“Brace [Beldon] was on stage about preform a new melody” said embattled Witness Robert F Kennedy Jr. “And all of sudden these two Nation of Islam guys walk in holding guns. [Brace] Beldon rose his hands up and said “be cool brothers” but they just [expletive] shot him”.

Beldon was take to the nearby Des Moines Gay Men’s Hospital Children’s Wing and was declared dead 30 minutes after arriving. Doctors says they made heroic efforts to collect the embattled congressman sperm, which has already been sent back to Beldons native home country of TacoBell-Israel-PizzaHut

Embattled Mayor of Des Moines Lou King said of the shooting “We thank the officers of the Swiss Guard for keeping us safe from Prussians, and ask that everyone in the community please come together in this trying time.”

UPDATE: The witness in the article recanted his statement after being informed he had just witness the death of celebery fitness influencer Brace Beldon, and not embattled Civil Rights Activist malcolm x