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trashcan@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 3 days ago

Man who gets winded climbing stairs describes plan to repel home invasion

www.thebeaverton.com

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Man who gets winded climbing stairs describes plan to repel home invasion

www.thebeaverton.com

trashcan@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 3 days ago
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GEORGE, NB - Despite no self-defense training and being incredibly out of shape, cell phone kiosk employee Wade Creamer, 27, has often described to friends his plans for countering a potential home invasion.
  • Triumph@fedia.io
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    3 days ago

    It’s more dangerous to have a swimming pool.

    • JoeyHarrington@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      Truth. The day my swimming pool started packing was the day I left home.

    • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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      The risks of shooting your family with a swimming pool are amazingly small though.

      • Triumph@fedia.io
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        3 days ago

        I drown by gunfire every day.

    • julietOscarEcho@sh.itjust.works
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      This is really only close to true statistically if you’re under 4, thank fuck America isn’t shooting many toddlers yet (but the number isn’t zero). There are about 1200 deaths a year in domestic pools in the US and 46000 gun deaths.

      • Triumph@fedia.io
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        3 days ago

        https://poolfence.com/are-guns-more-dangerous-than-your-pool/

        • julietOscarEcho@sh.itjust.works
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          3 days ago

          Yeah, obviously a company that sells pool safety products wants to emphasise pool safety (and I’m not trying to say pools aren’t dangerous BTW)

      • SupraMario@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        A) you’re way off…3500-4000 drown in the USA a year. We’ll call that accidents.

        B) accidental gun deaths per year are around 450-500…

        You wanna do statics, do them right and stop making shit up. Your anti-gun propaganda you drink has always had to make shit up to get people to believe their crap. No having a firearm in your home is not magically more deadly than owning a pool. Period.

        • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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          3 days ago

          …3500-4000 drown in the USA a year. We’ll call that accidents.

          B) accidental gun deaths per year are around 450-500…

          Yeesh. Another gun-clutcher.

          Drowning deaths in America includes every kind of drowning death, and so lake and boating and surfing and oil rig and commercial fishing accidents pump that number up.

          You wanna do statics, do them right and stop making shit up.

          Hypocrisy is fun. And the word is statistics.

          • SupraMario@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            Yesh another anti gun nut who thinks that we should disarm ourselves while we have fascist in power…

            See my other comment as well to your other points.

            • julietOscarEcho@sh.itjust.works
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              OK rambo, how many fascists have you shot so far…

              • SupraMario@lemmy.world
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                2 days ago

                Yes because that’s what you go right to. Shooting people and potentially starting a civil war. Glad you’re anti-gun…cause you clearly seem to be off.

        • julietOscarEcho@sh.itjust.works
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          A) includes drownings in bathtubs an natural water (where majority of drownings happen) B) so people who died to domestic violence or suicide are safe are they?

          “You wanna do statics, do them right and stop making shit up.”

          Source for majority of drowning deaths non-pool related: https://www.statista.com/chart/34873/rates-of-unintentional-drowning-deaths-and-drowning-locations/?srsltid=AfmBOoreeroH378wf2OA0D3nU9ZbuMfzFgmO1VcicvcFUwRF2G1scUA_

          Source for actual total gun deaths, because danger doesn’t just mean accidents: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/03/05/what-the-data-says-about-gun-deaths-in-the-us/

          • SupraMario@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            Suicide isn’t an accident and neither is domestic violence. You don’t accidentally off yourself and you can’t accidentally have domestic violence. You also can’t suicide via water either…well not without a ton of work.

            You’re bullshit stat is about how having a gun magically makes you more likely to be a victim of gun violence, which is not correct.

            • julietOscarEcho@sh.itjust.works
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              https://academic.oup.com/aje/article-abstract/160/10/929/140858

              Why do you keep talking about “magic” and “accidents”. Just because you don’t want deadly weapons to be a risk factor doesn’t mean that they aren’t. It’s just a fact. And an obvious and intuitive one at that.

              • SupraMario@lemmy.world
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                2 days ago

                Because the point is that drowning is mainly via an accident. You don’t accidentally suicide yourself. And your link is really “no shit” stats. You can’t kill yourself and be in the “suicide with a firearm” if you don’t use a fucking firearm. These are “water is wet” stats that are pointless.

                • julietOscarEcho@sh.itjust.works
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                  And yet you keep claiming water isn’t wet.

                  • SupraMario@lemmy.world
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                    2 days ago

                    Naa I’m claiming that you’re suggesting that it’s a monsoon when it’s more like a mist.

        • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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          The fun thing about statistics is they dont apply to single individuals.

    • julietOscarEcho@sh.itjust.works
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      I remember now that this BS comes from freakonomics. The irony of that bastion of “contrarian thought” is that so many people seem to have lost their ability to think critically while reading it.

    • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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      I’m not talking about swimming pools I’m talking about the risks of shooting your family while trying to protect them being larger then the infinitesimal chance that you might John Wick some home invaders and save the day.

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      It’s more dangerous to be moron.

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